Clarence Thomas Announces 50% Discount On All Favorable Rulings

2 years ago by gorysubparbagel to c/theonion

WASHINGTON—Telling Americans that they must act now to avoid losing out on the chance of a lifetime, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas announced at a press conference Monday a 50% discount on all favorable rulings. “Today and today only, I’m offering half off on tilting any jurisprudence in your favor—all…

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sab 86 points 2 years ago

It's convenient that the gavel is used both for auctions and for courtrooms. Both situations apparently boil down to giving it to the highest bidder.

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