Visiting the US soon - do I really have to tip?

Hey Folks!

I've been living abroad for over half my life in a country where tipping is not the norm. At most you would round up. 19€ bill? Here's a 20, keep this change.

Going to the US soon to visit family and the whole idea of tipping makes me nervous. It seems there's a lot of discussion about getting rid of tipping, but I don't know how much has changed in this regard.

The system seems ridiculously unfair, and that extra expense in a country where everything is already so expensive really makes a difference.

So will AITA if I don't tip? Is it really my personal responsibility to make sure my server is paid enough?

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sarahcanary 27 points 3 years ago

Yes, it does make you the asshole, especially because you know that's what we do here and why we do it. Until living wage laws are passed, it's not going to change.

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kilgore 20 points 3 years ago

In all honesty, I will probably just tip the minimum amount and try not to let it get to me. Its not like I'll be out eating by myself anyway, there will be plenty of social pressure to help me along :)

But imagine if all jobs worked this way. Oh, you wanted a good outcome for your surgery? Maybe you should have tipped your surgeon! Oh, you wanted your taxes done correctly? Should have tipped! Sorry boss, I would have gotten you that report on time, but you forgot to leave me a tip!

I also think its silly that tips are based on the price of your meal, as if that has anything to do with the service whatsoever. So the person who ordered a steak pays more in a tip than the person who ordered a salad? Why? It would make way more sense to tip based on time spent in the establishment. I would understand a standard 5$ tip per half-hour or something way more.

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freeman 22 points 3 years ago

Here’s the thing. There are now tips added to all sorts of checkouts. And it’s muddier than ever.

As an American I don’t tip shit unless it’s a full service restaurant. Aka they are refilling my drinks for me.

If I’m getting a sandwich at a sandwich line where you stand in line and call out what ingrediants you want and take it to go, I don’t tip. If I’m just getting a coffee black, I’m not tipping. Etc etc.

The checkouts now though ask for tips on all sorts of stuff. I increasingly refuse to tip for things like self service places, takeout, etc.

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solstice 11 points 3 years ago

Yeah like the other guy said, I only tip if it's a sit down restaurant with an actual server who attended to you. If you are checking out somewhere and the kiosk thing prompts for a tip, I almost never do.

Always tip the cab driver a few bucks.

If you are at a hotel you should tip the valet for parking. Honestly though at hotels, tipping pays for itself. Hotel staff are demigods that can bestow good fortune if they smile upon you, so you definitely want to appease them. It's amazing what slipping a $20 to the person checking you in can do for you.

When in doubt, you can just ask candidly what the etiquette is. Everyone knows its weird and different everywhere.

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sarahcanary 3 points 3 years ago

Well, I get your general point though tipping at a restaurant doesn't quite work like that. You don't get crappy service as a result of not tipping; you tip at the end of the service.

I tip 20% no matter how dismal the service, which is not the norm here. People have bad days and I don't want to financially penalize them on top of it. It just feels shitty.

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JoshuaEN 2 points 3 years ago

I think of tipping waitstaff as just being part of the actual cost of the meal (which is why it is based on the bill, everything on the menu is actually priced lower than it would be without tipping). Optimally, that and the tax would both be part of the listed price, but alas that's not the case.

Why is this done? I figure it's because it lowers the perceived cost at the time of ordering, which makes people spend more.

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eric5949 4 points 3 years ago

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