Tangentially related, but I’m really put off by a lot of the negativity I’m starting to see on kbin. I kind of feel like, can we leave that over on Reddit? Maybe I’ve been spoiled by Mastodon, which doesn’t have the same almost aggressive toxicity I’m starting to see over here. I’ve stopped posting some things to magazines (specifically the gaming magazine) just because I know folks will take it as an excuse to be toxic.

Unless we want the worst of Reddit to come here, it needs to be discouraged now.

Anyone who uses that term is immediately labeled an incel in my mind, and I block them.

I find it hard to take people who use the term "normie" without a hint of irony or self-deprecation seriously.

I just read a comment about someone grouping a racist uncle and funny friend into the same category of normie because they aren’t up to date on the fediverse or super tech savvy or whatever.

Hey, I think that was my comment!

What I was trying to say is that the barrier of entry for joining the fediverse is too high for some people, and one appeal of threads is that people who wouldn't otherwise join might, so in my mind I was doing the opposite of gatekeeping! It was a normie-positive comment, if you will (although not without caveats).

I was also using the term somewhat ironically although maybe this didn't come through well. People have different connotations with words and I can't expect everyone to share my connotations.

What I think is important isn't the exact wording (if I hadn't written "normie" I would have used a different word to refer to people who wouldn't otherwise join the fediverse) but to not use your fediverse instance as a way to build some sort of upside down social pyramid where you use your outsidernes as a status symbol against people who are well-adjusted irl. This happening or not happening isn't contingent on a certain word being used or not, although arguably normie is a word that has strong enough negative associations to push people away. I don't have those associations with that word so that doesn't ring true for me, but as I said, not everyone has the same connocations.

Only thing you have wrong is that it is inadvertent. Normies are the mentally healthy and socially well adjusted, and the gatekeeping against them is not accidental in the slightest.

And tbf, an outsized amount of the internets truly amazing content does not come from them. It comes from the more ostracized, those that have to spend time here because they're not well enough to actually be around real people.

It's not a healthy habit to gatekeep, and they usually already know that. But, when normies invade a space it can change the tone incredibly quickly, so, the inner conflict will always probably remain a little bit.

It's complicated. Just try to remember if you have things like friends, loving family and a life, some people can just tell and they utterly hate you for it. Even if they try not to be too mean about it. It's not personal.

I agree it's definitely toxic behavior, it's coming from a place of "I can't fit in with what society expects of me" so therefore it's Us VS Them again. I do say it IRL to only close people to express my preference for the more obscure things, but I know where it comes from. It comes from a place of "normal" people can't understand me because all my life I was ridiculed for being different, so it's a proven fact.

Now just casually tossing that around online shows to me it is truly coming from a place of the inability to let go of concepts or spaces that felt safer to you until the "normal" adjusted person decided to also take up that seat next to you. It sucks because sometimes you just want a group of like-minded people, talking about topics you also truly enjoy without being watched by those that may have given you hardships in your past.

However this is something to address internally, and not harm or curse at others once they come at your doorstep. It really is a losing situation for some people, but at the same time that's a mental health battle they need to battle with themselves.

It's a useful term, particularly for subcultures

Counterpoint: having the appearance of exclusivity is usually a good way to grow.

Gmail originally grew because you needed an invite, so seemed like anyone with one was in an "exclusive club", bluesky is using the same technique.