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O.J. Simpson Allowed To Remain Living After Coffin Doesn’t Fit

2 years ago by The Picard Maneuver to c/theonion

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LAS VEGAS—With onlookers gasping as the former football star made a big show of being too big for the casket, O.J. Simpson was reportedly allowed to remain alive Thursday after his coffin didn’t fit. “If the coffin doesn’t fit, you must let him live a bit.” said O.J. eulogizer Tommie Lochran, who advocated for Simpson…
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breakingcups 159 points 2 years ago

They had this one ready to go, huh?

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path: 0 9288980, hotness: undefined, score: 159, children: 7
RaoulDook 57 points 2 years ago

It's pretty good, hats off to The Onion

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path: 0 9288980 9288996, hotness: undefined, score: 57, children: 0
BossDj 22 points 2 years ago

Makes me morbidly wonder if they're sitting on a folder full of celebrity death articles.

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path: 0 9288980 9295268, hotness: undefined, score: 22, children: 5
pastel_de_airfryer 31 points 2 years ago

That's actually standard practice in journalism

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path: 0 9288980 9295268 9296118, hotness: undefined, score: 31, children: 3
Son_of_dad 10 points 2 years ago

All news channels do

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path: 0 9288980 9295268 9304620, hotness: undefined, score: 10, children: 0
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