Secret Service ends White House cocaine investigation with no leads

3 years ago by YoBuckStopsHere to c/news

Testing did not reveal sufficient DNA, fingerprint or video evidence to determine who had brought the drug into the White House, the Secret Service said.
theyresocool 18 points 3 years ago

Spoiler alert: its all of them.

If it ain’t a Senator on that piff it’s definitely a staffer or a cop.

Not the WH chef though. That dudes a beast.

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Karmanj 14 points 3 years ago

What a waste of everyone's time

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YoBuckStopsHere 5 points 3 years ago

The scuttlebutt in DC circles is the cocaine was a USSS agent's and they are covering it up.

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afraid_of_zombies 6 points 3 years ago

Well if there is one group we can trust it is annoymous sources from beltway insiders.

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Karmanj 3 points 3 years ago

Nice use of scuttlebutt.

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Sabata11792 12 points 3 years ago

It was quietly returned to the rightful owner.

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ME5SENGER_24 11 points 3 years ago

We had evidence collected but then Steve had a bit. Then Gary had a go at it. Mark got a nose bleed after his line. So then Carl, naturally, had to make sure it wasn’t murderous cocaine and had himself a bump. Then we all did one together, you know, for team building and what not.

Well, in the end, all the evidence has somehow, magically disappeared…right under our noses. We’re all very shocked. Gary’s a bit jittery.

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Gingerlegs 9 points 3 years ago
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riverjig 4 points 3 years ago

Because, as we know, every square inch of that place isn't under surveillance.

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zpm 8 points 3 years ago

I know warehouses and office spaces with cameras that capture literally everything with off the shelf devices. How can they not have at minimum 2MP 22FPS of every square inch of that space. I simply don't understand.

If it had been anthrax or something awful, a bomb, an empty pipe.... They have no way of knowing who put it there? Absurd.

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Son_of_dad 7 points 3 years ago

Seems kinda silly. I know they HAVE to investigate, but I'd imagine that once they realized it was cocaine and not anthrax, things would just fizzle out like this.

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FlyingSquid 7 points 3 years ago

My god, who the fuck cares? Why does this even matter?

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BloodSlut 5 points 3 years ago

No leads or too many leads?

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Suddenmoose 2 points 3 years ago

gonna see a very surly crackhead make the news any day now

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Lurial -26 points 3 years ago

So it's Hunters....got it

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TerryMathews 13 points 3 years ago
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iAmTheTot -1 points 3 years ago

Pretty sure the original comment was sarcasm.

Edited to add, that really got deleted by a mod? It was pretty tame.

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C3ltic 11 points 3 years ago

When millions of people unironically say this shit every day, sarcasm isn’t really viable

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QHC 9 points 3 years ago

If it is, why does it matter? Is Hunter secretly the real President?

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afraid_of_zombies 2 points 3 years ago

I don't get why he isn't able to sue everyone for this. Like actively accusing someone of a felony with no evidence is protected speech?

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Lurial -15 points 3 years ago

It matters since his son got special treatment in his gun case that any other American woulda went to jail for.

It matters because he claims publicly that he is over his drug use.

It matters because his laptop which was real was covered up by the media and democrats.

It matters because of his shady business dealings overseas acting as a launderer for his father.

It matters because he brought cocaine into the white house and it's once again being covered up.

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gabevill 4 points 3 years ago

Do.. do you really think Hunter Biden, the president's adult son, just hangs out at the white house, one of the most heavily surveiled places on earth, just doing coke?

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Leperhero 1 point 3 years ago

Heavily surveiled, and still couldnt figure out whos it was. Sounds like if he were to do it, he'd be safe.

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afraid_of_zombies 3 points 3 years ago

Ok Boris.

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Lurial 0 points 3 years ago

It also matters because people still believe the Russian narrative that's been debunked, and have been shown to be paid for by Hillary Clinton and carried out by the FBI.

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riverjig -7 points 3 years ago

💯

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