I know you don't actually want people to individually answer. But for me, I'm always making mistakes, never working hard enough, always doing the wrong thing, etc. I try but never hard enough. I fail every day at the things I try to do and get everything wrong all the time...most of it in terms of social interaction.
Because I've been very isolated and alone all my life, including home schooling, when I'm alone there's this emptiness inside of me that never gets filled. I get so anxious when I'm alone and have slowly lost the ability to do things to distract myself from it.
Theres a difference between being lonely and alone, I used to be good at being alone but I've never been able to cope with being lonely. Life seems pointless without others in it.
But the more you interact with them, the more it's revealed that people are mostly intolerable and disappointing. So, alone has it's own merits.
Isolation is painful, I know that very well. There is a vast difference between having no one in your life and feeling incapable of being ok without company. People need community, we are social beings. The best advice I have for seeking friendship is to join groups you have affinity with. If you're particularly interested in politics, art, music, movies, gardening, anime, 3D printing, TTRPGs, whatever it is you love spending time doing, find people in your area who get together to do those things and try to join them.
If, on the other hand, you have friends and community but still can't stand the time you spend alone, address what about being by yourself creates that anxiety? What are you getting from constant company that you don't have alone?
Fair, I tend to think in terms of affinity rather than ranking, i have high affinity with some people and less with others. it's not about rank, it's about... Vibes? I guess? There's probably a better word but codes it what comes to mind.
@lemmy.world
All posts need to have the same title: me_irl it is allowed to use an emoji instead of the underscore _
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@lemmy.world
All posts need to have the same title: me_irl it is allowed to use an emoji instead of the underscore _
go to feed...
Are you your own favorite person? If not, why not? What qualities about yourself make you feel like you're not worthy of being the person you enjoy spending the most time with? If you are your own favorite person, why does it matter if someone else feels like they'd rather spend time with you over anyone else? I feel if you enjoy your own company when you're completely alone then the relationships you develop with others become more genuine, because you actually enjoy spending time with those people, rather than just being desperate to not be alone with yourself.
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