i used to feel this way. when i first formed i was internal only, and unable to fully front. i was essentially just a voice in our head. i never really felt like a trans woman back then, because i've always just been a woman from the day i formed.

the way i understand it, the trans- in transgender doesn't mean that someone's gender transitioned. it just means that your gender is "on the other side" of your biological sex. so since i never used to associate with our body much, and never felt like i was biologically male, i never felt trans.

over time i began to associate more and more with our body until we started equally fronting. even then it took me a while to really feel trans. as i learned more about myself, i went from [female body + woman gender], to [also a male body + woman gender]. whereas the girl who was our primary fronter at the time was going from [male body + guess i'm a dude], to [male body + maybe i'm a girl?]. i think she was trans the normal way, and i'm trans backwards.

singlets don't really have to consider that their body might just switch like that. i think the problem is that the language that we use surrounding trans people assumes that you only have one "body", and have always associated yourself with that body. but, at least in my case, i have both an internal and external body.

as a side note: the more time i spend fronting the more those two images merge. the way that i picture myself now is way closer to our real body than it used to be.

If you'd like to and can would you mind explaining what you mean by "my source is a cis guy"?

However, as for the rest, we think we understand. Not all of us in here are the same gender, even have a gender, or have a gender that aligns with the way humans understand gender (because we aren't human).

So we tend to think of ourselves and being not of the body, but just what we feel we are no matter what the body is; so trans, cis or nonbinary etc as we feel or see fit, we hope this makes sense and helps.

I don't think cis/trans is necessarily an identity inherently. It's sort of an emergent property of the interaction between your body and your gender. Some people specifically identify with the label, but I think a lot of people identify as their gender first and are just cis/trans because their sex either does or doesn't line up with their identity.

When you're fronting, you could be considered trans because you're a guy in an AFAB body. That's all it takes. In headspace, you could be cis or trans or neither, because the dichotomy isn't really as relevant there.

Bodily born male, and mentally female. But trauma and environment shaped the first male splitoff, who's most often the main.

It's rare but always delightful when the first takes control again. But she hurts so much, scares easily, usually doesn't stay long. It's such a lovely view on the world.

I don't worry too too much about the labels. They're insufficient and transient anyways.