You're very right, I was mainly recounting how I felt as I had just finally gotten around to several important things that I had been putting off when writing that comment.

I'm not sure if this will help you in any capacity, my to do list consists of two columns on a whiteboard - "Today's To-Do" and "What's Next?"

I start my day off seeing what I did of yesterday's to do, and if anything was missed, I think about why, and if it was important I put it at the top in a different colour and if needed, break it down into smaller sub tasks.

I'll then start moving a couple tasks over from the "What's Next?" column, prioritising importance.

Otherwise I've heard success from the Spoons theory from friends who also have AuDHD.

the trick i've found is to find ways to eliminate things from ever making it onto the to-do list in the first place.

Don't stack dishes in the sink, put them directly into the washing machine with the powder pre-loaded so you can just close it and press start when it's filled.
Put a trashcan in every single fucking room so you can just discard things directly into it rather than collecting the garbage from the floor.
Sorting, ironing, and folding clothes is a fool's errand. They get quickly rolled up and stuffed in drawers, Good Enough.

I think a lot of people on the AuDHD spectrum tend to not really internalize that we have a disability, if things aren't working then the only solution is to change how we do them, you'll never manage to "just get it done" or "just remember it" any more than a person missing their legs will "just stand up".