What's a good way to break the ice with your doctor right before a colonoscopy?
3 years ago by AncillaryJustice to c/asklemmy
I felt myself falling asleep, then seemingly immediately blink awake. I said, "Doc, I don't think the anesthesia is working," and he said, "Ha, no man, we're done."
Like you said, the prep was the worst part. There is no joy in daily living without food.
I woke up in the middle of mine, got to watch the second half. Was interesting, but it probably helps to still be under the after effects ify the anyways. But definitely, there prep is worse than the actual procedure.
The prep was awful. That was the part I really hated. Being so damn hungry.
I work in Radiology, and have to do Barium enemas, frequently. As much as we love the humor, we strive to keep it medical, with patients. We all know it sucks, can feel embarrassing, etc, but we're just trying to get the job done with the best pictures. Your physical body is kind of secondary to what our goal is.
It was both a joke and my real life. I hope I have a similar experience. I'm a virgin after all... for this anyway.
"You won't find anything. The IRS was pretty thorough."
Ask them if they'll be shooting in hidef 4k or IMAX.
I lost my wallet, keep an eye out please.
"25¢" in sharpie.
"After this can you write a note for my wife to tell her my head is not, in fact, up my ass?"
"My safe word is pineapple"
Whos joking? But yeah it is haha
With your rectum. The man sees you crush a piece of ice with that sphincter, you command some respect for the rest of the procedure.
"We've been trying to reach you about your vehicle's extended warranty"
You're going to want to avoid looking like a huge ass. I'd avoid jokes that shit on their career choice.
Bravo.
I had to get my ass checked and the doctor was surprised at my lack of shame or discomfort with it. When it was over he said "don't come back just for this okay?"
Stick a lightbulb in your butt. There's a good episode of scrubs they can watch if they don't know how to get it out.
If you still can’t figure it out, ask the janitor.
how to get it out.
Break it?
;-)
Call me a good girl, daddy.
The genders will be the other way around, but I like the cut of your jib.
Colonoscopy is easy, it's endoscopy that felt like near dear experience (I didn't take the sedative= fail). Worth it though. Also the Dr's and techs were far to busy talking about the next hairpin bend like they were rally driving. The satnav on the screen shows how far the scope has gone, I shit you not it really looks like the old Nokia snake gane. And when you have nitrous gas it all becomes very funny.
"40 left 2 over turd don't cut"
Hehe, it's hairpin bends that feel a bit weird.
Ouch. I did the whole thing without anaesthetic, but didn't want to. I can't stand needles but thought I would have gas+air for the upper endoscopy! (only gave me gas for the Colonoscopy, but it felt nice to get high after being choked with the snake torch).
But holy shit it was terrifying, never doing that again.
Ask them if they're going to buy you dinner first.
Ask them what their Twitch handle is because your friends want to watch the live-stream.
one holds the ice pick, the other bangs with the mallet
The benefit of accidental lobotomy is that the patient won't remember.
Puppet Show?
Absurd, love it.
After this do you want me to do you?
Tell him sorry you ate some bad Indian (or some other spicy food known for loose bowls) food last night.
They'd probably cancel the appointment if I said that, not gonna wait another 3 months to try to book my favorite activity.
Keep an eye out for our next president.
Heck, it was basically all water by that point, 24 hours of laxatives will do that ;)
Potable even.
Do a few shots with them.
“Please be gentle”
I have a colonoscopy tomorrow, so I'm definitely going to use one of these!
Tell them if they find $2.10 worth of nickels, they’ll have almost recovered it all.
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@lemmy.world
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, toxicity and dog-whistling are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !uspolitics@lemmy.world
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I'm not sure whether or not this was supposed to be a joke post, but I recently had a colonoscopy, and everyone was super nice and fully aware that this was an embarrassing procedure, so they did their best to make it as pleasant as you can be in a surgical waiting area.
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