Thats normal, not cringe :)
Thats normal, not cringe :)
Embrace the cringe
I absolutely understand. I've only got my dog at this point, and she's getting old. No family to speak of, no friends left, and a whole mess of financial problems i never asked for.
I'm not trying to complain or anything, just let you know that somebody out here understands having nobody to talk to or lean on. We're all we have, and we need to take care of each other, so i will be here to talk to if you need a friendly ear - this goes for anybody else who sees this post, as well.
I don't know you, and I won't blow smoke up your ass. In that spirit, a lot of building social connections that lead to various expressions of love is based on the willingness to actively seek human interactions.
Friends, lovers, whatever, it's spray and pray. Using things like hobbies or other arbitrary shared factors helps narrow the field, but the gods' honest truth is that it's a numbers game. If you meet a hundred people, you'd be lucky to find 1 that makes a good long term acquaintance, much less a true friend.
Meet a thousand, and your chances get better.
Real, deep relationships are not a common thing for any given individual. For one thing, an individual can only maintain so many of those before someone gets left out, and it loses depth over time.
Sadly, the only way to meet people is to go where people are. Luckily, it is possible to do that online nowadays, you just have to be careful because it's so easy to snag assholes.
I feel that!
I'm one of those introverts that can fake extroversion, and have moments of experiencing that kind of social energy. But it isn't my norm. It's hard to make friends when extended interaction is draining, doubly so in groups.
Stack depression, anxiety, and outright misanthropy on top, and it's amazing I ever have friends. I do have some, but it always surprises me when it lasts through my profound lack of spoons.
So, I totally get it.
But it is something that can be faked until it's maked, so to speak. So it isn't like there's no hope. And it isn't like the ever shifting social tides can't flow in your favor, you just have to be ready to ride the wave when it comes
There are so many dudes trying to bang you in this thread!
It has probably been told to you before, but shared activities/interests are key. Work out of your comfort zone. You seem to be fine with making Lemmy posts, so I would start there and just post little "shower thoughts" or hot takes or whatever about your interests in relevant communities. People will respond and you just engage from there. Maybe find a discord or some other hub of discussion through those conversations and continue on down various rabbit holes.
The main thing to work on is getting over your insecurities, even if it is just slowly building confidence in yourself with different minor (or hopefully major!) interactions with people. Sometimes it will go poorly but you have to think about why it did and how you can improve your chances next time. But it is important that there is always a next time.
Watching shit is an interest though. What are you watching? Why do you watch it? What about it interests you over other stuff you could be watching? Even if it's doomscrolling youtube, you'll see something interesting eventually. Post about those things. Talk about them, leave comments on them. Search for communities who like them and try to join those sites/hubs/discords/etc.
Oh I watch a fair bit of those too. Line chef seems like a terrifying thing to do. Same with police work tbh... But yeah, I don't have any people I really speak to much in person. Definitely sucks when you have no energy for it and how are people supposed to meet anyone?
True crime is a huge thing. Lots of people like talking about various crimes and the people that committed them. And theories about them. You can find huge communities about that stuff. Lots of discords. It's not my personal cup of tea, so I can't really help too much with diving deeper and unfortunately all I am doing is pointing you in a general direction.
Cooking is the same way. Plus cooking is an activity/interest. Have you ever tried recreating dishes from those shows/clips or branch out into learning to cook/bake/etc with other videos? I mean, I know that's not the focus of those specific shows but has watching them sparked interest in any of that? There are, again, tons of massive online communities based around cooking different stuff. Plus you'd get to eat tasty food as you got better at it.
That's just the tip of the iceberg though. If you got to thinking about the stuff you watch, read, or just in general pay attention to, you'll start seeing why you are interested in those things and that is the commonality you can find to branch out with people. That's the topics you want to post or comment on. That's the things that you can use to bridge the societal gaps between you and others. And interacting with people, even if it's just chatting about stuff that you (and they) enjoy on lemmy or discord or wherever is what starts friendships.
It's an effort thing. Depression sucks. You have to fatigue yourself and go out to do something. Anything in a group or local community thing. It sucks more so if you are socially awkward or an introvert but it's doable.
tell me something you really enjoyed this week. could be anything. like how a meal tasted, or a smell you enjoyed. could even be as mundane as enjoying sleep or a bedtime ritual.
tell me about yourself.
Sucks. I wish I could help. I've always had a bunch of cool people around me. Mostly from a climbing club im in for 20+ years. I just ask them questions about climbing and if they want to go climbing with me.
thanks for using Leebra!
go to feed...
I wish i could help, i know platitudes suck but you aren't alone in this particular instance. All i can really offer is a few words if you need somebody to talk to.
save