I'm writing a LN!

9 months ago by Mercuri to c/lightnovels

Hey Bookworms! So... I've sorta been writing my own LN. It's an isekai with some LitRPG elements without turning into spreadsheet porn.

https://drive.google.com/...

I'm maybe 1/5th of the way done with book one but I'm starting to get those nagging brainworms.

You know, like, "Ugh, what am I even doing. Is anyone even going to enjoy this?"

My IRL friends don't read much and even if they do they don't read isekai and don't understand the tropes (eg. "Hey, why isn't this guy freaking out 24/7 about being in another world?")

So... plz read my book and tell me what you think? uwu

Title is WIP. Most everything else is not, although I might tweak a few things later. And yes, this book cover is AI... I absolutely will NOT use AI for the final version but I wanted something to keep my mind focused.

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ludrol 5 points 9 months ago

I have read all 64 pages, and actually laughed out loud. After the first page that's quite an achievement.

For anyone coming after me: just read the last chapter. It's actually decent.

This "novel" is excellent exihibit of how humans can improve in their skill. From worst writing I have ever read to better than some published novels I had unpleastness of reading. Keep going as you will go places. Your skill has improved so much that it actually is a shame how bad the chapter 0 is.

In your place I would probably start over, and take a look how to structure a plot with twists and turns. Come up with a hook and first sentence of a book. As they say, that is most important sentence.

I love how sassy the catgirl is.

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path: 0 21659586, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 1

Mercuri 2 points 9 months ago

First, omg, thank you for reading the whole thing. And also for your honest critique.

From worst writing I have ever read to better than some published novels I had unpleastness of reading. Keep going as you will go places. Your skill has improved so much that it actually is a shame how bad the chapter 0 is.

Yes! Thank you. I feel like a lot of people are just "this is good" because they don't want to be offensive. Honestly, your harsh criticism of the earlier chapters is just what I was looking for. It makes the later praise seem earned instead of just platitudes.

Plus, it gets my head out of my ass a bit and gives me a different perspective. If you feel the later chapters are better then they certainly are better. And if the early chapters are that bad, ouch but yes.

In your place I would probably start over, and take a look how to structure a plot with twists and turns. Come up with a hook and first sentence of a book. As they say, that is most important sentence.

This is actually great advice. And I think I see what I'm doing wrong. I have twists IN MY HEAD. But I think I'm too focused on setting up a big reveal later that I'm falling flat early on. Like, I have pages and pages of worldbuilding notes now and you really only start see that stuff in the latest chapter.

So yeah, thank you so much. I'll give this a hard look, go back, and figure out how to set up the story better.

As they say, that is most important sentence.

And mine is "The universe is a prankster." which even I admit is a bit cringe.

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path: 0 21659586 21665298, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

Welcome!

Welcome!