Republicans Urge Americans To Look Away From McConnell Or Else They Too Shall Freeze

3 years ago by seahorse [Ohio] to c/theonion

WASHINGTON—Following the second press conference in five weeks during which the 81-year-old was temporarily unable to speak, Republicans warned Americans Thursday to look away from Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY) lest they too should freeze. “Good people! Gaze not upon the senator’s visage or you may be struck dumb…

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2scoops 26 points 3 years ago

I like to imagine that during these freezes, he’s actually having out of body experiences wherein he visits Hell, and sees the fiery fate and torments that awaits him when finally slips this mortal coil.

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Cabrio 8 points 3 years ago

It's just his handler touching base.

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Compactor9679 0 points 3 years ago

Comunicating with Biden :)

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