Hello, valued skeptics and losers currently writing think pieces about how the AI bubble is going to burst. It’s me, AI. I’m just checking in after the news that the U.S. military struck roughly a thousand Iranian targets in the first twenty-four hours of war, killing over a thousand people.

Quick question, tho: Does that sound like the résumé of tech that’s about to be put out to pasture? I mean, sure, I sometimes screw up a fact or give horrible advice, but have you seen how well I sate your bloodlust? You wackos love to murder each other.