The elves set him up. How do you think they stay so spritely and magical?
webghost0101 5 points 4 months ago
The other days of the year santa is just a personal butler-slave to the elves.
He can’t refuse or he will be replaced according to the traditions.
ChicoSuave 2 points 4 months ago
Santa is Highlander confirmed. The Immortal uses their wish every year to give toys!
bizarroland 10 points 4 months ago
I have a mental fan-fiction that the new Santa gets selected on December 25th every year.
He gets every single tiny little wish he could ever possibly want granted until Christmas Eve of the following year.
The elves don't tell him what's actually going to happen though.
It's gotten exponentially worse in the last 50 or 60 years, but for the longest time, it has been simply impossible for any human being to circumnavigate the globe to every single house of every single good kid and deliver presents in a single night.
So what are the elves to do?
After the first Santa died from overwork, the elves created a great ritual.
Each year they select a new Santa. They fatten him for the slaughter.
And at the stroke of midnight Grenwich meantime every single year, the new Santa is frozen in time.
He will feel no heat nor cold. He will feel no pain. He is trapped in an eternal and timeless void until he finishes his great task.
He has no flying reindeer.
He has no magic sleigh.
He has his own hard work, and an infinite amount of time with no human interaction, and his only escape is to deliver the last present for every single kid that lives in Greenwich meantime.
After this, he is released for one hour, and then he must repeat this task for every single time zone.
He will crawl back and forth across the earth hundreds of thousands if not millions of times in a single night.
And when he is done, he will quite literally be insane.
After this, they set him up on top of somebody's house and Santa Clause him, and the ritual starts again.
This is how the elves satisfy their pact of immortality to the ancient dark ones.
bizarroland 6 points 4 months ago
So, you know, this year, do 2026 Santa a solid, lay out a fresh cooked steak, a side of mashed potatoes, some hot buttered rolls, and something other than milk and cookies.
Big_Boss_77 3 points 4 months ago
Homie just painted a bullseye on ol St. Nick.
florkofcows
@lemmy.world
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Fan community about the sock puppet webcomic drawn in MS Paint.
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florkofcows
@lemmy.world
948
113
98
Fan community about the sock puppet webcomic drawn in MS Paint.
go to feed...
“Whats the downside?”
The last santa asked the same thing when they started last year.!
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