The taboo experience of motherhood regret - ABC News
a day ago by velma to c/womensstuff
cross-posted from: https://piefed.social/...
Most of the women Ms Reed spoke to talked about loving their children "endlessly", she says, and felt they could perform as mother.
Belle says after marrying her husband, who she has since separated from, having a child felt like the next logical step in life.
"I was in a very heteronormative kind of situation."
But she says parenting challenges her in ways she didn't expect.
"[My daughter] was probably about two or three where I first just kind of went, 'I don't understand what I need to do to help you understand the lesson I'm trying to teach you.'"
Belle says her husband wasn't present as a father and the bulk of the caring sat with her.
"It was all on me," she says.
"Which created this kind of really strong, tight bond, or almost dependency between her and I.
"I do love her. I do find her really challenging … I describe it as she's always a step ahead of me."
Belle says there are still days she just wants to "quit parenting".
"The crazy all-in screaming tantrums, thumping around in her bedroom. I'm out … quitting parenting at that moment."
For me it's the loss of who I was before I had kids. Don't get me wrong, I love having kids, but I also miss who I got to be before them. I think both can be true.
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@piefed.blahaj.zone
Women only trans inclusive This is an inclusive community for all things women. Whether you're here for make up tips, feminism or just friendly chit chat, we've got you covered.
Rules…
- Women only… trans women are women, and transphobic or gender critical talk isn’t allowed. Anyone under the trans umbrella (e.g. non-binary, bigender, agender) is free to decide whether a women's community is a good fit for them.
- Don’t be a dick. No personal attacks, no aggression, play nice.
- Don’t hate on groups, hatefilled talk about groups is not allowed. Ever.
- No governmental politics, so no talk of Trump actions etc. We recommend Feminism@beehaw.org for that, but here is an escape from it.
- New accounts or users with few comments may have their posts removed to prevent spam and bad-faith participation.
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This article really spoke to me as a mother, not as a childfree person.
The heteronormative expectations. The lack of a village. The high expectations that we set for ourselves and then regret being unable to attain. Or regret that motherhood wasn't what I thought it would be.
It's hard to talk about openly. I love my child deeply. I'd die for him. I work really hard to give him the tools I didn't have as a child. But there's a sadness like any path chosen with no way back.
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