Maybe. But maybe there's yet another timeline where you are trans and are living the best life there is! Being trans forces you to think about ethics and existence and all that stuff. About what you really are and what you are going for. Cis people don't really have that privilege.

Maybe there's a timeline where you got more support from people around you in your youth, though? Maybe that helped accept yourself better and avoid some mistakes you've done in this timeline of ours?

Anyway, you're plenty valuable and valid in this timeline as well, that's clear from your posts here! :)

I try not to think about that too much, or an idealized version of life where I realized I was trans much younger and had a supportive environment to transition in as a kid. Those didn’t happen, and I don’t want to torment myself.

Plus, there are people who love me for who I am and things that give me joy now, and I would rather spend my time thinking about and being around them

Cis girl me would not have my strength of will. Or she'd be an unstoppable nexus of chaotic energy and bad ideas. Neither of which is good

I really appreciate these comments. I've written about it before but I struggle a lot with the grief of having missed out on so much on the life I wanted to have. I consider myself unapologetically trans, and I find a lot of strength and motivation in continuing the long lineage of tough and badass transgender people fighting for better futures. However, the fantization of starting over as a cis person and shedding by trans identity if given the opportunity is incredibly strong.

Y'alls perspectives really have helped me connect back with my reality and find comfort in it. Thank you 💜

Yeah but then I wouldn't have a dick

If I ever invent time travel I promise to go back and warm up your dad's seat.

<3

I wish I hadn't had to suffer the years I did, but on the other hand I wouldn't be the person I am today if I was cis. I like the life I have and I put in the work to build it

Sigh same girl, same