Grimy 115 points 7 days ago

So categorical no, it feels great. That being said, I will say that the current porn direction for blowjobs is really gross. Most blowjob videos seem to be about make it as uncomfortable and painful as possible for the girl. I feel like I'm watching bdsm most of the time.

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sprigatito_bread 17 points 7 days ago

Does anyone know why blowjobs in porn are so degrading and violent? As a young guy who got his first impressions of sex from porn, I thought there was something wrong with me for finding them disgusting. I felt awful for the actresses and skipped the really bad parts. Am I in the minority for wanting something slow and seductive where the woman has dignity and actual desire?

I'm trying to muster the courage to have sex for the first time, but I have this insecurity about wanting to receive oral because porn gave me the impression that there is no dignified, comfortable, and empowered way to give it. For me tongue action looks really hot and I lose interest if she sucks too deep or uses her throat a lot.

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architect 9 points 7 days ago

Plenty of women love giving head and just tell her what feels good.

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sprigatito_bread 10 points 7 days ago

Perhaps if I'm being more honest, receiving a blowjob to me represents one of the most vulnerable things I can possibly do, because my partner would be getting to know me on a very intimate level by feeling and tasting one of my most sensitive areas. I've never really understood why fellatio is widely considered some kind of performance, because to me, the real intensity lies in that level of intimacy, and a slower, more sensual pace with more attention to detail amplifies the experience.

I'm terrified of being that vulnerable, so I would often tell myself things like "women don't enjoy giving oral" to reassure myself that the threat wasn't real. But I have since passed the denial stage and I am trying to emotionally prepare myself for it.

So, it's not just telling a partner "Hey, I like a slow and gentle pace," it's more like "I am telling you the most intense and powerful thing you could ever do to my nervous system, and I am trusting you to use that power responsibly."

Is that what "getting head" means to most people, or is it just me?

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invalensname 8 points 6 days ago

I don't think it's just you. In a lot of ways I think I'm in the same boat as you.

You strike me as a very sensible and sensitive (in a good way) person. You just have to remember that so many things in the world, and especially the internet are trying to make you feel insecure over these things for self-serving reasons. I think the main thing that matters is just finding someone you're comfortable with, and after the first times it gets less scary.

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