What's the funniest true story you've read on the internet?

3 years ago by Interstellar_1 to c/asklemmy

rustyricotta 29 points 3 years ago

I had a really good laugh today when I remembered that the area 51 raid happened. And the Naruto runner.

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LaunchesKayaks 4 points 3 years ago

Oh fuck I forgot about those things

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Smokeydope 3 points 3 years ago

I occasionally come back to this for a good laugh

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PipedLinkBot 1 point 3 years ago

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TAG 1 point 3 years ago path: 0 5495077 5520223 5530739, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 1
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Hypnotized 29 points 3 years ago path: 0 5492065, hotness: undefined, score: 29, children: 2
Rhoeri 15 points 3 years ago

That….. was amazing.

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the_doolittle 4 points 3 years ago

This is my first time hearing this story and it was well worth the read.

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Melatonin 26 points 3 years ago

Right now it's still that Republican dude trying to sound like Yoda.

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Nath 27 points 3 years ago

Ok, so you've triggered my personal bugbear with Yoda. Time for a rant. Let me explain:

Yoda was pitched to Luke on Hoth as the Jedi master who trained Obi Wan. Luke (and us as the audience in 1980) had this expectation of a wise old man if he trained Obi Wan. When Yoda pulls Luke's Xwing into the swamp and meets with him, he puts on a "Little Creature" persona to test Luke's patience. Anakin was famously impatient. Yoda hammed up his speech mannerisms to 11:
"Away put your weapon, I mean you no harm"
"Help you, I can! Yes! Yes!"

Once Luke fails this test, and we get to Obi Wan, Yoda drops that whole act.
"I cannot train him. The boy has no patience."
"Too old! Yes! Too old to complete the training."
"A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. This one, a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away! to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was! What he was doing!"

Then once we get into training, we get the bombs of wisdom:
"For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us, binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force flow around you. Here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, yes, even between the land and the ship."

You see? Yoda retained a little of that vocal mannerism - easily explained as someone speaking a different language to his native one. For the most part though, his dialogue was pretty natural.

But then people spent the next 20 years doing Yoda impressions of his little crteature act. So by the time of the prequels, it was expected that Yoda would talk all backwards. So the prequels had him doing that backwards-talk throughout. I hated it then, and I hate it now.

It's a crying shame that people coming to Star Wars never get their expectations of Yoda subverted today as we did. Yoda is just too pervasive in our culture. Even my own kids who I tried to shield from all that instantly recognised Yoda when he came on screen.

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Tippon 5 points 3 years ago

At least in those cases he's coherent. I can't stand it when people do Yoda impressions and don't make any sense.

'Mmmm, help can you I '

He's never spoken like that!!!

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vettnerk 9 points 3 years ago

The what now?

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Melatonin 20 points 3 years ago path: 0 5489554 5489570 5489709, hotness: undefined, score: 20, children: 2
LucasWaffyWaf 14 points 3 years ago

I refuse to believe this is real, what the fuck

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PipedLinkBot 5 points 3 years ago

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TheGalacticVoid 17 points 3 years ago

There's way too many.

  • The guy who tried to kiss his Yale interviewer

  • Poop knife

  • The guy who got a NASA internship who also cussed out a NASA engineer on Twitter

  • Anything involving Tay

[EDIT] It was actually Yale, not Harvard.

Some more:

  • Ball pits
  • "a cylinder"
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NumbersCanBeFun 9 points 3 years ago
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obinice 8 points 3 years ago

Wasn't that NASA intern a woman?

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TheGalacticVoid 7 points 3 years ago

Yep, that was supposed to be a gender-neutral "guy"

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Moonguide 4 points 3 years ago

Tay Zonday?

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TheGalacticVoid 10 points 3 years ago

Nope, Tay the Twitter chatbot made by Microsoft.

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LaunchesKayaks 2 points 3 years ago

Yo what are the first and last ones

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TheGalacticVoid 4 points 3 years ago path: 0 5491863 5513350 5514418, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 1
LaunchesKayaks 2 points 3 years ago

Thanks!

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shinigamiookamiryuu 12 points 3 years ago

Someone on DeviantArt bought a picture of a furry character for $20,000.

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MyDogLovesMe 10 points 3 years ago

Still. That comment on Reddit where the guy talks dirty to his wife. Fails, miserably. So hilarious. Wish i could find it again. “You like that, you fucking …”.

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Iron_Lynx 4 points 3 years ago

It's a quote, which suffers from censorship. I'll let you complete it.

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Hypnotized 3 points 3 years ago

A classic

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didiercool 6 points 3 years ago

Definitely the guy who overindulged in pot snickerdoodles and then goes out to dinner with his inlaws.

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CanadaPlus 4 points 3 years ago

True story

Read on the internet

You have to see the issue there. The first one that definitely happened that comes to mind is the great molasses flood. It's not actually a funny thing and a lot of people died, but it sure is a funny concept.

The Hawaiians adding the Union Jack to their flag for no reason because they liked the design is also pretty top-tier.

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Secret300 4 points 3 years ago

Double dick dude

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Inucune 3 points 3 years ago

That was debunked as fake.

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Secret300 1 point 3 years ago

There was a whole book, damn

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Outtatime 1 point 3 years ago

HWNDU saga. The Internet historian has a great YouTube video on the whole thing. Absolutely hilarious.

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