Stomp: "I'll have a rum . . . . And coke."

Bartender: "why the pause?"

Stomp: "Dunno, I've always had them."

I've been saying this for months. How long until 47 "has a stroke."

Because if you take horse electrolytes, you wake up the next day with your shoes nailed to your feet with an overwhelming urge to shit in the road.

Slaps side: You could put so many top secret documents on here!

With reddit eating X's ass on the highway to insignificance.

Did both parties involved in the transaction get fired?

That's a mom that knows that they're ALL much cuter when they're alseep.

Where's the number for gimp mask and tutu?

Congress and the judicial branch have fast tracked themselves on a course to redundancy for the past 85 days.

The Democratic party has proven twice now that they want so badly to have the first woman president that they ignore what their constituents want.

I have a metal disk from a hard drive that I keep on a suction cup in my shower to use as a mirror. Works wonderfully.

So I go to the 40k universe and all of the other beings are the size of my pinkie...

It's only fitting considering that avocado means "testicle tree."

So a shitgun instead of a poostol.

This concept could be an entire Lemmy community.

Chunk: And this I've time, I mixed up a batch of fake barf, snuck up to the balcony at the theater, and made a noise like "huuuuh, huuuuh" and dumped it over the side.

Fratelli: I think I'm beginning to like this kid, ma.

Only the shadow knows...

https://www.youtube.com/live/mrRlFZSBrJQ

Raw irritated penis

You don't know old until you've had to change the IRQ for your sound card because wolf3d.exe's settings were different than swotl.exe.

When your biscuit's dry And it don't taste good Who you gonna call?