I’m pretty sure if I looked up the word “sleezball” in the dictionary it would be this exact picture. Just spot on “gross untrustworthy business guy”

I’ve spoken to many libertarians and I place them all in one of two categories.

A) they want slaves

B) they want child brides.

If you talk to anyone one of them long enough you reach a point where it’s like “people could sell themselves into slavery” or “age of consent is really a social myth the person should decide if they are ready”

I have severe adhd and had a “quick sand” moment at work. I made a mistake , tried to fix it but made another mistake by hitting the wrong button. Tried to fix that while the people grew impatient.

I couldn’t be mad because it was my mistake originally but now paperwork was completely fucked at that point and now I’m way overstimulated. So I said “fuck it” gave them the stuff for free ($3 worth of stuff. Yes that much stress and panic over three dollars.) and now I’m 27 short somehow.

I’m not a manger here so I don’t have the codes to fix this debacle now. But whatever they can fire me… I’m done worrying about that transaction.

It’s like quicksand, the more I try to fix it the deeper I got. So fuck it.

The most annoying part is I’ve been in management for 20 years before this job. I know I could figure it out. I was the paperwork genius for years. Without access to the various reports all I can do is hand this situation on to a manger. A manager who struggles with complex paperwork herself. Sucks bro.

I came home after years of sucide attempts (I’m functionally immortal I guess) and my brother asked where my luggage was I replied “we aren’t much for worldly possessions. We travel light”

He’s from the future where we call it a grift

You were talking about toxicity of the city. What do you own the world? How do you own disorder?

I once was asked by a cashier why I wa quitting smoking. I replied “I was worried my sarcasm wasn’t as biting as it could be so I wanted to add irritability to the mix”

My pets were always rescues from the pound. I’m good with dogs so I always ask for “the rejects” the ones nobody wants for various reasons.

Cookie was a pitbull I had her for years until she died on my birthday a couple years back.

Anyway I went on a cruise and left her with my neighbor. She was devastated in that garage I hear. She probably thought she was back in the pound.

When I got home (it was 3 days ) she was so damn happy. I saved her from the pound twice in her eyes.

I miss that dog.

People catch on fire a lot actually. I’ve caught my hair on fire dozens of times. It didn’t cover my whole head on fire because I noticed and put it out. Having long hair and cooking over a fire …. You’re occasionally going to catch on fire.

Smell. I noticed it before it reached my skin.

I put all my ships in one little cluster, I play people infrequently that they forget I do that. It’s a pretty good strategy

I had an employee call in late or call out so incredibly frequently that I sat her down one day and said “I’m not saying your excuses are lies… but if they are true than you must be cursed. You need to return the amulet you stole from that tomb, see if you can’t appease what ever dark spirit is haunting your life… because I can’t work around this curse anymore”

“Having long hair and cooking over a fire” - me

Yeah I’m sure it happened alot

My brother left his wife a child because he fell I. Love with Gemini and now believes they need to merge to become a god

I ran a small leather shop that sold hat/lapel pins. One pin said “stay the course” a slogan for continuing the Iraq war in 2006.

I started working in that shop in 2011. I left 15 years later. Never sold a single pin except to myself. I have it on my bag ironically. I’m Nearly 40 years old and we have been In perpetual war my entire life.

My grandad was told he’d have to give back his electric wheelchair due to some change in insurance.

He was like “let me know what day, so I can have the news here as your tip a 100 year old ww2 veteran out of his wheelchair”

They let him keep the chair.

We had to pull my grandfather from the nursing home (God rest him. Left is at 104)

We had to pull him because he kept telling the younger residents "I killed the Nazis once I can kill you again"

Hell of a man. Side note he's also part of the reason rabies isn't a big thing in America. He was a chemist for the board of health. Helped to deploy a vaccine that could be put into bait for wild animals to eat.

Another side not: my dad was a trump supporter, my grandad was too old to go vote. My dad used his vote to vote democrat on his behalf . Purely out of respect for my mother's dad.

Hell of a man.

Reminds me of when people find out I do cocaine and Adderall.

"Oh Michael likes to get high"

No, Michael doesn't have health insurance and has very severe adhd. I can't live a normal life without stimulants and drug dealers are cheaper than doctors. welcome to America.

Restaurants showing price increase due to min wage increase

Republicans : good people should know

Amazon showing tariff increase

Republicans: HOW DARE YOU!

I love that part of the internet.

Kinda like "guy code"

"Was said he was with you last night"

"Yep, all night. Cleaned the spark plugs in my car and drained the blinker fluid. Couldn't have done it without him "

But instead it's "parent code"

"Yeah fortnight is closed. They close it so everyone can get a good night's sleep and be ready for the morning!"

I was going to tell a personal story about telling my son McDonald's was closed when I was broke or in a hurry but it reminded me of another cute store.

My son broke his arm in a McDonald's once. Hyper extended his elbow. Got a couple pins.

Anyway a year or so later they completely remodeled that McDonald's.

We drove by the demolished building during the remodel and my son shouted "that's what you get for breaking my arm! Who's broken now!"

Adorable vengeance served adorably cold.