On Christmas morning, when the motion sensor in the hallway next to the living room is triggered, it slowly turns on the Christmas tree, turns on the stereo, sets the stereo volume to 0, starts a Christmas music playlist, then slowly turns up the volume.

I don't understand how people like this can exist AND SURVIVE in a society consisting of real, actual people.

That's the whole point. Unless you are a dog you don't hear it. Otherwise it would just be a normal whistle...

This isn't going to hurt Google's antitrust cases at all... Noooo sir.

It is even worse than that. He wears his hair in a way that the it does not go below his eyebrows and ear lobes. But the school is mad that it could . It makes my blood boil.

Religion, at its core, is basically rules that state "don't be a dick." Unfortunately, all of the dicks didn't get the message.

With all of the violence going on in the world today, I am constantly surprised at how little of it is directed towards insurance company offices.

This xkcd is what finally resolved the "is it us or natural variation" question for me: https://xkcd.com/1732/

TIL that 25% of people living in Idaho are even dumber than I previously thought they were ...

I'd be perfect departure time man. Able to determine exactly when to leave in order to arrive at your destination on time, regardless of traffic, weather, or other conditions encountered along the way.

For anyone like me who doesn't speak German, and thus were unable to follow the implied humiliation: the German word for English is "Englisch" not "Anglais"

Moopsy!

Jokes on you -- I'm still using the last TV I bought in 2005. It has 2 HDMI ports and supports 1080i!

That guy is essential the head of the Republican party, which controls half of Congress and holds a majority of seats on the Supreme Court. When he says jump all of the other Republicans ask how high, while they all try to figure out ways to 1up each other to please him.

So when he speaks, he indicates what he wants to happen which telegraphs actions of all of his sicophants. So if he says "torpedo the border bill" it gets canned. If he says IDGAF about NATO, you can be sure China and Russia see an opening they can exploit.

I hate to break it to that guy but packing boxes isn't skilled labor either.

Otherwise known as constructive dismissal. Nasty. But hey, everyone wants that new iPhone amiright?

....by him?

Afterwards they will complain that they lost their jobs because they are being persecuted for their political beliefs.

I can't be the only one disappointed by the lack of an order by clause after being told the list was being sorted (twice!)...