What an amazing landlord, I'll make sure to tip extra well this month.

I'll always remember the kid who broke both his arms and his helpful mom.

Dude went from eccentric inventor to powerpoint presenter

Friend: Brings up really cool idea for something to do

Me: Awesome! When do you wanna do it?

Friend: blank stare uhhh, I'll have to figure it out, this week isn't good

EVERY TIME

Love how even IRL people forget about Frank Grimes. good ol Grimey

So happy I deleted my 4chan account, really helped curb my desire to kill the women I date.

I'm apparently the archeologist over here with my Model M and its buckling springs.

I feel this. I'm not socially awkward, can speak in front of a crowd just fine, but my brain just can't figure out what "flirting" actually is. I'm aware it's a form of conversation different from normal talking that expresses attraction, but as for how it's different, how to do it etc.

I'm in the dark and no friend of mine has been able to give a clear answer.

Damn girl you think with that prefrontal cortex?

Electric just ain't the same. Zoomers will never know the power of hearing your CPU revving in high gear during those intense Quake matches.

What if we held hands through the grave hole 😳👉👈

Indeed, it's necessary in order to sync its Direct Intervention Combustible Kinetics via the Tactical Information Transmission System.

If you ask me, it's this combo of DICK and TITS that really makes FUTA special.

Stick your hand in a crack, and you don't get it back, That's a Moray!

And lobsters are scorpion mermaids.

oof ouch my bones

Just got a new job after 3 months unemployment. While I'm glad to not be homeless, I'm going from 5 weeks vacation to 2, from full-time remote to dragging my ass to a cubicle 3 days a week. The worst part is putting that fake fucking smile on my face so my new bosses can't tell how much I despise being there.

This is why as much as much as I don't wanna die, I hope we never unlock the secret to immortality. At least for now billionaires and fascists all die eventually.

Love how it made the cat italian for no reason

If people want to talk to me, they're friendly and nice.

If I want to talk to people, I'm being clingy and annoying.

Simple as that