Don't remember where I heard it first, but I always love to hear it.

"Whenever someone brings up bikes, suddenly everyone needs to move their refrigerator 100 miles in the rain"

This is genuinely very clever and I'm amazed that the teacher came to the conclusion that this person didn't prepare anything

Got so tired of casual sex that they created competitive ranked sex.

In order for everyone to just freaking go, their cars would have to be attached somehow.

I wonder if anyone's ever thought of linking a bunch of cars together so they can all stop and go simultaneously. And hey, since the cars are attached and all need to go to the same place, we can build a track instead of using high maintenance rubber on pavement and-

oop, we invented trains

It takes every path available, and with high enough voltage, more paths become available

Alright, you cast heal wounds. Any wounds on the legs are healed. You are now aware that paralysis from birth is not a "wound"

I too vomit while standing up at my full height.

"Highway Hypnosis" is a well documented phenomenon. Your body is essentially autopiloting the drive. It most commonly happens when you're driving a route you're familiar with, like a commute.

The monkey's paw curls. New AAA games now feature thousands of individual rock models, among other labor- and space-saving measures being forgone in favor of realism. The game is 400 GB and the devs have worked 110 hours per week for the last 3 months

Taking the opportunity to share a super fun fact about this. The ridges in a human's outer ear allow us to determine whether a sound is coming from above or below by subconsciously noting how different frequencies are bouncing off those ridges. Animals without those ridges can only determine the lateral direction a sound is coming from relative to their head's orientation, and their method of figuring out whether the sound is from above or below is to tilt their heads and "listen on a different plane"

I do feel for the 19 year old who was rightfully terrified of the thing but went on because his dad wanted to bond

Marcus Crassus smiles in his grave

add a hard hat and you're in

Easy enough to imagine a driver (understandably) swerving to avoid killing a cyclist and losing control of the car

It probably could constitute assault, even without hitting someone

At least where I live, the licensing test covers rules of the road, not automotive knowledge. I think this commenter was referring to some test covering very surface-level knowledge of vehicles, with a focus on ways to tell if a car is unasafe to drive.

There's a fair possibility that lots of "mostly republican" districts are relying on voter apathy to stay mostly republican. Good on ya for doing your part!