4
625
Fester

@lemm.ee

Fester 224 points 3 years ago

Voting with democrats to remove the speaker for voting with democrats. Seems like a healthy system.

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Fester 222 points 2 years ago

Imagine seeing that message and buying another product from them.

“It’s time to artificially create waste. Don’t worry, you won’t see this message again. Our new cookers are designed to not last 10 years.”

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Fester 160 points 2 years ago

It sued itself in its confusion!

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Fester 150 points 2 years ago

White men are EATING my CAR KEYS

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Fester 149 points 2 years ago

This person’s problem can be solved by a sandwich. Takes like 3 minutes to make, or can be prepped earlier, no cooking necessary, has color, is fresh, not frozen, beats any fast food meal in price and quality. Also can even be healthy if you shop wisely. Can be different every day. Can be hot or cold. The possibilities are endless. Sandwiches are the best.

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Fester 146 points 2 years ago

Remember when they used to try to keep corruption somewhat hidden and deniable? Now the richest man in the world is just going to be walking around the White House, tugging the government’s leash on full display.

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Fester 146 points 2 years ago

Justice: “Don’t kill me, it’s illegal!”

Assassin: “I’m on orders from the president.”

Justice: “Oh, well, go ahead then.”

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Fester 144 points 3 years ago

Coming to you later… “Your browser violates YouTube’s Terms of Service.”

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Fester 130 points 2 years ago

Also

Mark 10:17-25

The Rich Man

As he was setting out on a journey, a man ran up and knelt before him, and asked him, “Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” Jesus said to him, “Why do you call me good? No one is good but God alone. You know the commandments: ‘You shall not murder; You shall not commit adultery; You shall not steal; You shall not bear false witness; You shall not defraud; Honor your father and mother.’ ” He said to him, “Teacher, I have kept all these since my youth.” Jesus, looking at him, loved him and said, “You lack one thing; go, sell what you own, and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me.” When he heard this, he was shocked and went away grieving, for he had many possessions. Then Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How hard it will be for those who have wealth to enter the kingdom of God!” And the disciples were perplexed at these words. But Jesus said to them again, “Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”

That was Palm Sunday lol. Fuckin murdered the guy later that week.

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Fester 124 points 2 years ago

I wonder how many stared without protection, and how many were scammed with fake glasses.

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Fester 120 points 2 years ago

Just go to the fucking dentist.

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Fester 111 points 2 years ago

I was considering a Mazda for my next car. Now I’m not.

I live in a place that gets fucking cold in the winter. If the normal fob option were always available and you get the option to pay for the convenience using an app, that would be one thing - though $10/month for that is ridiculous. But removing the fob option and locking this basic feature behind a subscription is exactly the sort of game I don’t want my vehicle to play with me.

Go ahead and sell roadside coverage, parts/repairs, batteries, get royalties from Sirius or whatever for extra cash flow. Make a great app that adds new convenient live-service features and is worth paying for, even. But fuck all these new subscription un-gimping games.

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Fester 110 points 3 years ago

Local residents had repeatedly contacted Google to have them change their online maps after the bridge collapsed in 2013, the suit claims.

Barriers that were normally placed across the bridge entrance were missing due to vandalism, according to the Charlotte Observer.

The lawsuit is also suing three local companies, arguing they had a duty to maintain the bridge.

That’s a lot of fucking negligence.

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Fester 107 points 2 years ago

Dave Ramsey is typical right-wing evangelical cult leader, but instead of dipping directly into religion, he is a conservative financial coach. He’s the human manifestation of “stop eating avocado toast” and “get a third job.” He has fired employees for being gay, being pregnant, being non-Christian, and for having premarital sex. He forced his employees to remain in office during the pandemic.

So it should be no surprise that his advice involves becoming a selfish, heartless jackass. He wants his working class followers to be good boot lickers who are self-sufficient and satisfied with their economic ceiling, and not believe in the potential for progress that would benefit society but may be detrimental to grifters like himself. That means his followers need every one of their hard-earned pennies to pay their bills and grow their nest egg, rather than waste any bits on generosity or compassion.

TLDR: If you’re poor and you support mom, you might become too poor to perceive success from Ramsey’s advice. That’s what it comes down to. Fuck him.

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Fester 103 points 3 years ago

We are all landed gentry on this blessed day.

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Fester 102 points 2 years ago

So it’s whoever decided to make Easter the first Sunday after the first Saturday after the first full moon after the spring equinox’s fault, this year.

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Fester 98 points 3 years ago

There’s only one way I’d be OK with “subscribing” to use a LG fridge: I don’t pay anything upfront and I don’t need to pay for any repairs. If I don’t even get to own it, then I shouldn’t be responsible for fixing it when it dies and spoils all my food after a year or two, nor should I need to pay for a new fridge when I give up on it after those repairs inevitably fail again. Same with their TVs when the cheap capacitors die early.

If I subscribe to rent your product, the onus is on you to make it reliable enough that it lasts until the subscription turns a profit.

Since that won’t be their business model, I’m better off buying a half decent brand and then flushing $1000 down the toilet. Fuck LG appliances. (And fuck Samsung appliances while we’re here.)

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Fester 98 points 2 years ago

So he’s giving all his wealth to the poor, right?

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Fester 93 points 2 years ago

The victim permanently lost her hearing in one ear

3 years actually seems pretty soft for permanently disabling someone. Imagine reliving this violent moment every time you hear something. I hope she can also sue the shit out of him.

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Fester 92 points 2 years ago

The new trucks also feature something common in most cars for more than six decades: air conditioning. And that’s key for drivers in the Deep South, the desert Southwest and other areas with scorching summers. 

“I promise you, it felt like heaven blowing in my face,” Stonum said of her first experience working in an air-conditioned truck.

Good.

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