Unpopular opinion: if finding an instance is too hard for you, maybe the federated internet just isn't for you.
I don't really agree with that take. With an attitude like that, Lemmy, Mastodon, Pixelfed, etc will never take off. You'll always be here screaming into the void because no one else will be around to chat.
Without making the on-boarding easier, Reddit, Meta, and Twitter will continue to screw everyone over.
There's nothing wrong with throwing someone in an instance to get them used to everything, especially when you are able to move your entire account to a different instance easily. It's not like you're locked down to the instance you were originally placed in.
I mean shit, I understand instances, but I gave up the first time I tried to join Mastodon because I was too lazy to sign up for an instance in my browser, and then copy the details into the app. Wasn't the lack of knowing, it was the multistep process that felt like a waste of time.