You wouldn’t know a good game if it slapped you in the face. Jazz Jackrabbit is a classic, and the controls are fine if you have actual coordination. Maybe it’s too fast-paced for your snail-like reflexes. And that soundtrack? It's a masterpiece, not that your tone-deaf ears would appreciate it.

Wow, did you wake up on the wrong side of stupid this morning? Hyperactive bunny on caffeine? That's called excitement. But I get it, some people just can't handle a game that requires actual skill. And my ears are just fine, thank you. Maybe yours are too clogged with whatever crap you listen to.

Arthur is mostly always wrong

Oh, come on! At least in Skyrim, I can play how I want. Want to be a stealthy assassin or a powerful mage? Done. In The Witcher 3, you're just following a pre-written script. Uh, hello? Freedom dude seriously. What Else do you not get?

Yeah, because nothing says personality like brooding and grunting 24/7. Skyrim’s world is infinitely more engaging. You can keep your monster contracts and depressing tone. I'll be enjoying my epic adventures, thank you very much.

You’ve got to be kidding me. The Witcher 3 is great, but calling The Elder Scrolls a "lifeless sandbox" is just ignorant. Skyrim alone has more depth and freedom than any game out there. You want a character that matters? Try creating your own instead of crying like a Lil piss baby over it

At least in Skyrim, I’m not forced to play as an emotionally stunted brick. Geralt’s about as dynamic as a slab of granite. "Hmm, should I grunt here or over there?" Meanwhile, my Dragonborn can shout people off cliffs. Enjoy your medieval soap opera.

Oh, you’re just jealous because you can’t handle a real challenge. Maybe you should stick to coloring books and leave the real games to the adults. I’ll be enjoying my 'dumpster fire' while you’re crying over your precious Sonic. Have fun being basic.

Under WHAT circumstances, would I literally ever even need to come crying to you ?

You're delusional

Right, because chasing after a whiny kid for 50 hours is SO compelling. Meanwhile, I’m becoming the Archmage of Winterhold, head of the Dark Brotherhood, and oh yeah, did I mention DRAGONBORN? What’s Geralt got? Some lousy potions and two swords? Yawn.

H

Dynamic gameplay? It's a glorified hide-and-seek with guns. Just because something is popular doesn’t mean it’s good. Remember fidget spinners?

Who is Greg? And how do you know Greg has impeccable taste UNLESS YOU ALREADY COMPARED NOTES WITH HIM

You’re insufferable. Games like Dark Souls cater to elitists like you who think suffering equals enjoyment. Some of us play games for the story, the art, and the creativity—not just to beat our heads against a wall.

You pompous prick. Dark Souls is hard as hell! The game throws you into impossible situations with no help. Not everyone has the time to "git gud." Some of us have lives outside of gaming.

Depth and skill ceilings? More like RNG and luck. You can be the best player and still lose because someone found better loot. That’s not skill, that’s chance.

But Steven, that's not the point the point is to make fun of you. You are kinda like that

Maybe I just prefer games that respect my time and intelligence. Battle Royales are designed to keep you playing and spending money, not to challenge or entertain you meaningfully.

Charles Darwin did not crawl out of the primordial soup so that you could ask Greg what he's into.

Dropping 100 players into a map and making them fight isn’t innovative. It’s the lowest common denominator of game design.