It's not my drawing, I added the text tho lol.

Just did, sorry forgot about that lol.

Thanks, I didn't know. 👍

I apologize for the vagueness here, part of it comes from, just, I guess not knowing I suppose? I'll try and make this as short as possible. Basically, I was raised in a Catholic household, and part of that is why I would eventually push Christianity away when I realized I was Gay, because I felt like Abrahamic religions were incompatible with LGBTQ rights. That was also part of it, but the other part was I just didn't fit in with anyone at that particular church (which also wasn't Queer friendly) so I became a militant atheist when I accepted my Queerness. After years of depression and not doing much with my life, I started to think more about those I've lost, and many months ago started to have a series of reoccurring dreams in which my dogs, who passed a few years ago, were in this beautiful... Place. I don't know what to call it.

Anyway, I realized that if there is an afterlife, I can only imagine how disappointed they'd be that I've wasted these years depressed, angry, and not doing anything with my life. So that's why I'm searching for something that assures me that they're okay, and that tells me that one day I'll see them again, and that I'm not a mistake or a burden. My spirit feels so broken, but for my precious fur babies, I want to try. I want them to be proud of me. I know this might seem silly to some, but besides wanting to find a sense of community, belonging, and wanting to heal the scars in my soul, my dogs are one of my biggest reasons for trying to find what spirituality means for me and trying to change for the better.

Any input would be greatly appreciated. 🙏

I mean yeah I know that, but what I'm trying to say is that I'm not sure I ever was truly an atheist. I'd just like some support and guidance here is all.

If it wasn't for my belief in the people I've lost, that they're In a better place, then I would have never have decided to try and better my life. My dogs for example, who passed a few years ago, are why I'm trying to turn my life around. I don't think it NEEDS to be an organized religion, but I ultimately just don't know. I know that my loved ones are somewhere were they are safe, happy, and at peace, and that they're encouraging me not to give up. I was a militant atheist for a long time because... I was angry at the world for feeling like a mistake, like a burden.

I'd like something, that tells me on a spiritual level, that I'm not, and that despite these hardships, I'll be okay. I don't know who to talk to about all this.

I've heard a lot of good things about the Quakers.

Lol I truly don't know why my account appears as a bot account, maybe because I deleted the app then redownloaded it? Idk, but that aside what advice would you give me? I feel like I need this to help give me the strength to get through the hell of life. I feel so broken, so why not try and find something to (at least mostly) help fill the void?

The story of my permaban is more... Embarrassing, in regards to WHY more than anything. If you'd like to chat more feel free to dm me.