a saw that had sensors to know when it touched skin seems unlikely

I've never seen it in a healthcare setting, but that kind of safety mechanism is already a thing in larger saws - some pretty impressive demos on the web. Iirc it effectively destroys the machine if it goes off, but most of us would rather buy a new table saw than lose a few fingers. ...and that was the tech years ago, may well have improved since I went down that rabbit hole.

Orthopedic surgeon:

*repeatedly pulls string attempting to start up a chainsaw*

Team 'both' checking in.

If you decide to act like a Nazi, you should die like a Nazi.

...and if you're a trillionaire, you should die ASAP even if you act like Mr. Rogers - sorry duder but humanity cannot afford you.

I like to think of someone gave a trillion dollars to Mr. Rogers he would have been a trillionaire for like a day, losing the title almost immediately as he redistributed it appropriately.

I'd prefer something more immediate, but beggars can't be choosers.

Hey wait a minute!

Not even bald, but I tend to just do my whole head in one go.

Ages ago I ran out of shampoo and just used body wash instead... after a few weeks of being too lazy to buy more shampoo, I realized my hair was... completely unchanged.

So, fuck it. Water and body wash are my shower's only two ingredients, for the past decade and change.

Go work in an ER. The homeless are super susceptible to all kinds of diseases.

Fair enough. Good distinction.

Reconsider any of his actions through the lens of him deliberately wanting what's worst for the US, and suddenly he makes a lot more sense.

He isn't an idiot who doesn't understand the wars he's starting, blundering his way to failure; he's a domestic enemy of the US doing everything in his power to weaken us.

He's playing the village idiot because it fucking works - we give him the village idiot pass again and again because stupidity mitigates intent.

He's a personification of the fucking Darth Jar Jar theory.

Oh, individually? We're tied to the tracks. I was talking collectively, in which case we very much fucked up.

That doesn't vindicate the marketing.

Nurse here. I've wiped a cumulative mile or two of stranger ass crack, so... I know a thing or two about poop.

The answer is:

If everything's working normally, your bowels will reabsorb water until it becomes solid. They're really good at reabsorbing water.

If everything's working normally.

If you've got the Hershe's squirts, things are not working normally. So... you'll probably just shit your pants.

*snaps glove*

Now spread em.

We have outlook classic at work, and that shit takes a solid 5 mins to actually load up my inbox enough to become functional.

Outlook has always been shit, the new AI slop is just fuel on the fire.

Better idea: drive a stake 50% through AI CEO's chest. Better, faster results, not just economically, but ecologically too!

Doesn't say great things about their marketing that the first time I (a chronically online gaming nerd) am hearing about this company is their notice of shutting down.

Can't find it for the life of me... Describing a web comic vs actually posting it always feels like a flop, but...

Aliens abduct a physicist, who doesn't seem to give much of a damn about the abduction but is instead enthused to learn about the alien tech on board, so they give him a tour of the ship. They get to the power reactor and start dropping a bunch of sci-fi jumbo about "We harness dark matter to... (sci-fi Ruth Goldberg machine) ...and finally, we use the heat it generates to boil water and crank a turbine!!"

*Physicist drops to his knees in despair and let's out a dramatic 'noooooo!'

Paraphrasing heavily due to having shit memory. I thought it was a SMBC comic, but... /shrug.

Fortunately voting isn't mutually exclusive to any other flavor of activism. So, unironically: yes, please do vote, as often and informed as you're able to.

Light up some billionaire's warehouse on the way home if you want, but voting is easier and safer than pretty much any offer method of driving some rapid reform, so start with voting, and take whatever other action you feel still needs to take place.

Lots of hate on voting lately... Why? Use every tool we've got.

It might seem bad now, but later in your twenties you'll lose respect for people you don't know, too! By your early 30s you should be on track to lose respect for entire institutions, and eventually just humanity in general!

Mid to late 30s is an awkward phase of losing faith you didn't even know you had. Like, dozens of times. You'll hit rock bottom again, and again, and again, and whatever new low your brain just established for human malice and stupidity will be gut punched as your peers enthusiastically elect a pedophilic antichrist. Twice.

Eventually you realize there is actually no bottom, and you start to go numb - which is fucking great compared to the decades of getting dragged through through the coals!!