Wrong

The owners are the bad actors here. They enjoy increased margins in an environment where additional salary top ups are somehow the customer's problem.

Pay your waitstaff you cheap fucks

Just grab em by the algae, what's taking so long?

I agree, the environment should be the topmost issue, and that list of cancelled efforts is incredible. I knew Carney was aiming to stimulate the economy by removing some guidelines but holy shit, this is a lot.

Nice pussycat

Free him and audit everyone

Microsoft announces new Chief Accuracy Officer, Jack Handey

Mr. Handey has released a statement:

Instead of having "answers" on a math test, they should just call them "impressions," and if you got a different "impression," so what, can't we all be brothers?

Jon Stewart could post phone videos from a trashcan Oscar-style and I'd watch it

Ironic that there's a grammatical error in the headline... 6th-grade levels, surely

I personally would rather not be 45 and look like a 28 year old lizard, but that's just me

The "revulsion being the point" comment brought back a memory...

My brother and I had a disagreement when I was young. He is a prolific and talented artist who went to an art and design college, and I was a teenage dumbass who was invited a show of his and others' work.

One such work was a framed typewritten letter.

I told my brother that that was not art and I thought it was stupid to call it art, and that it devalued the efforts of the other artists.

He didn't respond at first other than to say that art is often in the eye of the beholder and if it elicits a reaction it typically can be qualified as art.

He left it at that but I kept thinking about what he said. I was really annoyed that they could possibly call a stupid framed letter art just because it was hung in an art gallery. I said as much to several people over time.

About two years later I went back to visit him, this time for a solo show. He does abstract painting, and I liked his stuff. We started talking about the work and how some if it reminded me of our childhood home.

At one point I brought up the framed letter and how it still made me roll my eyes when compared to the work you see in art galleries.

He just smiled and said "still thinking about that piece?"

I was annoyed to admit that whatever my opinion might be I could not deny that it had had a profound effect on me, evidently.

So, yeah the revulsion at the thought of an acre of potential meadow being permanently smothered so that 4% of it could be used to park pollution machines is definitely the brilliance here...

Good, start the campaign now so that if Trump somehow crowbars in a law that allows him to run for a third term Obama can bury him

Had to really check whether this was The Onion or Notthheonion

I've heard of a cock inside a rectum, but a rectum inside a cock is a new one for me.

100% RIF was the best, when it went bye bye so did I

The picture of that poor woman's thighs is all you need to see to know this was not a frivolous suit

I'm sorry, you're saying that only $1.214521 of every $607.2605 was paid out?

THIS IS AN OUTRAGE

No matter one's political affiliation, sexual preference, gender identity, nationality, race, creed or other demographic identifier, all can agree that Ted Cruz is an unmitigated jackass

Let's see, 8am Monday, Mon day, moon day, that can't be it though... Holy fuck it is,! Wait, does that mean Saturday is Saturn Day?

Three hours later

Yes, I was aware that we had a meeting at 9 today ... Did you know that Sanskrit has a significant influence on English vocabulary? Yes, I am serious. Hello?

"It has come to our attention that we haven't fascismed hard enough, nor in sufficient detail"

Our Uber was in a BYD the other day. Asked the driver how he liked it. He said he had a Tesla for about two years and it didn't come close to the BYD. He said the BYD had more features, longer range, faster charge, and was more comfortable, for about 70% the price of a Tesla.

If it weren't for artificial support and trade barriers, I bet Tesla would be a dead brand already