let him talk out what he’s upset about

I try that often. I rarely get anything out of him. I try to suggest things, but I really don't know how to communicate this with him.

Thanks. I do some of those things, but I'll try to do more of it.

Thanks, but... what do you suggest we DO, then? How do we help him self-soothe?

Hej! Undskyld jeg ikke svarede. Jeg fandt det via et link på Reddit en gang.

Jeg søger et alternativ til r/Parenting på Reddit. Kan du anbefale mig nogen gode steder hvor jeg kan bede om råd om børn fra andre forældre? :)

Thanks.

Thanks for the reply! I do have Asperger myself (though I do not have these particular problems, nor did I as a child).

I have talked to him a couple of times about the hand-washing, and as far as I can tell it does not appear to be sensory. When I ask him whether it feels uncomfortable or painful or weird for his hands, he says no.

Still, it might be worth getting him tested. Thanks.

“wow, it must have been really frustrating when you thought you were getting those toys and didn’t. I would have been pretty sad about that too. Is that how you feel?”

I have tried that many times over the years. It doesn't seem to ever achieve anything (and it makes my wife mad if she is listening)...

Thanks. I'll see if I can do some of those things.

Thanks for the suggestion.

I have talked to him a couple of times about the hand-washing, and as far as I can tell it does not appear to be sensory. When I ask him whether it feels uncomfortable or painful or weird for his hands, he says no.

Ask for help on things like the dishwasher

I am pretty sure I did that. He didn't want to participate. (It's been two weeks, so I do not remember all the details.)

Thanks for the suggestions.

On the hand washing thing, I am guessing it’s a sensory problem. The water is too hot or too cold or too wet, something like that. I think you should cut him slack here, bodies are weird and this may be hard for him in a way that doesn’t make sense to you. Using sanitizer or a water-free hand soap is an option to reduce hand washing frequency, might make it easier on everyone.

I have talked to him a couple of times about the hand-washing, and as far as I can tell it does not appear to be sensory. When I ask him whether it feels uncomfortable or painful or weird for his hands, he says no.

What does he say about how he is feeling?

That is a very broad question. I do not understand what you have in mind or what you suggest I investigate. Could you please elaborate.

What does daycare say about his behaviour?

He just switched from one daycare to another (a few weeks ago; the behaviour I describe started long before the switch). The old daycare said he was pretty normal. The new one has not had enough experience with him yet.