This is such a shitty way to frame it.

I think folk should default to neutral pronouns, especially in trans safe spaces. But phrasing a failure to do so it as "misgendering trans people" is jumping straight to the most absolute bad-faith interpretation.

Then further, saying that anyone who does it is "a transphobe" is way off base. (It reminds me of Contrapoint's bit about essentialism)

It's also notable to me that you're not asking for e.g. any change of policy here. You're not trying to improve the way this instance is run to discourage folk from using masculine defaults.

You're using this incident only to wage war against someone you were already in conflict with, and assuming that anyone who steps in and criticizes your behavior is taking sides in that conflict.

I can't think of anything less trans-friendly than mandatory pronoun marking.

I quite liked this quote from Isabel Fall (more about identity than pronouns specifically, but still related!)

“We make boxes that seem to enclose a satisfying number of human experiences, and then we put labels on those and argue about them instead,” she says. “The boxes change over time, according to a process which is governed by, as far as I can tell, cycles of human suffering: We realize that forcing people into the last set of boxes was painful and wrong, we wring our hands, we fold up some new boxes and assure ourselves that this time we got it right, or at least right enough for now. Because we need the boxes to argue over. I do not want to be in a box. I want to sift through your fingers, to vanish, to be unseen.”

For me, what helped initially was not to focus on whether I was trans or not, but on specific questions like whether I wanted to start HRT.

Because when I read the list of changes it caused, none of them seemed bad, and many seemed really desirable!

That helped reduce my dilemma from a complicated question of "identity" ("Am I trans? Am I nonbinary?" etc), to a more specific choice I could proceed with.

I guess I'm kind of confused -- by "on here" do you mean in this community, on blahaj.zone, or just on lemmy in general?

(I have not run into transphobia in any of those places, but I stick to a pretty small set of communities)

You might want to start by looking at common last names for a region you identify with.

e.g. here's a list of common surnames in England/Wales (Picked because I'm British myself)

If I had to pick from that particular list, I might go with:

• Valentine Yates
• Valentine May
• Valentine Frost

(also several borderline puns such as Valentine Hart, Valentine Rose, Valentine Day)

e: Oh also, I honestly didn't think my full name flowed very well initially. But I got used to it over time!

The source is referenced in the graph (PRRI survey from 2023, as described e.g. here)

The previous years are a different org's polls (Gallups)

Bofuri is surprisingly good! Not in any way serious in tone, since it all takes place in an MMORPG, but some good action scenes, especially in the first season.

Pretty sure it's completely kid friendly (no fan service or other anime weirdness.)

I'm pro this rule. I eventually quit reading a lot of the trans subreddits because of the constant doomposting.

There are obviously lots of reasons to be skeptical of meta, and to consider not federating with them, but

it would actually prevent facebook from harvesting data from these servers

isn't the case. They can already mine data it if they really want -- lots of folk set up bots to scrape mastodon data.

Don’t federate with that instance if you don’t like its views.

TBH, I find even this view kind of... foreign? It makes sense to defederate from instances that cause harm to the ecosystem (whether by hosting trolls or not guarding against spam) but I just don't think that "federation" should indicate "approval" in the way so many folk clearly do. Like, letting someone on gmail email me doesn't mean I approve of what google does.

I mentioned this in another recent thread, but I spent a lot of time looking through reddit threads where transgirls talked about body hair.

What I thought was interesting is that:

• while you do get a lot of responses that say it only somewhat reduces body hair
• there were several folk who said it eventually did pretty much stop growth in many places (especially the torso), but that it took 3-4 years.
• One thing generally agreed on was that no matter what, hair on the legs/forearms will stick around; that's typical for cis women as well. (There's a lot of variability where cis women will have noticeable hair, but almost always on the legs/forearms.)

In online spaces you'll generally see a lot more folk in the 0-2yrs range of HRT (because they're newer and have more things they want to talk about.) So my guess is that the long term reduction in body hair is larger than you'd think just skimming threads like this one.

I'm at a bit more than 2 years, and it definitely has reduced a lot on my chest/shoulders/back/butt/upper arms, but I still have to shave occasionally (especially chest/butt). For now I'm content to see if the rest goes away on its own.

As romcom misunderstandings go, at least the one in this episode didn't feel too contrived.

I still hate it, though! :)

From what little I've looked into, it matters how much you keep down there if you later want a vaginoplasty (because it changes what they have to work with.)

There's definitely just some variance in terms of how much it bleeds and whether it hurts. I haven't really noticed any pattern in terms of injection site; I think there are a lot of factors. Holding the vial and maybe rolling it between your hands can help warm up the liquid, which makes it a little bit easier to both draw and inject.

The needle size will affect these things too -- the thinner the injection needle the less blood I've seen, but then it takes a little longer to inject. Do you know what gauge you're using to inject with?

I found the whole process very stressful for the first several weeks, but eventually it just became routine!

Here is some previous discussion on whether to defederate from them due to worries about their moderation capacity (and how it leads to spam/etc): https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/1671319

So far, it seems that most of the spam etc isn’t making it through to people, which is great! It means we can keep things going as they are without it impacting people too much. Please use this thread to let me know if that changes though

One issue I've seen is that the bot's empty posts tend to flood out other more interesting stuff from my main feed.

I've thought about removing the community from my feed for that reason, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.

I've watched four this season:

• Seven Spellblades: I assumed going in it would be fairly generic, but it's turned into my overall favorite, mostly on the merits of the story itself. It does a surprisingly good job of maintaining a relatively large ensemble of MCs. (Also, given that the setting is kind of "dark anime harry potter", I can't help but appreciate the implied "fuck you" to JKR in one subplot.)
• Helck: not all the humor lands for me, but enough does that I really enjoy the show! The slowly unfolding plot is kind of neat too.
• Undead Girl Murder Farce: I really like the sense of humor and style in this one. At the start it seems like it's going to be a bit like In/Spectre in terms of slow-paced mystery solving, but the action starts to pick up ~half way through the first cour.
• The vending machine iskei: I wouldn't say it's exactly a good show, but it's been watchable enough I made it to the end of the season!

I think it probably makes more sense to simply post about the game in a general community! (i.e. this one). If there's a lot of involvement, then you can consider splitting off.

Slightly related: I was looking recently at early issues of Dragon magazine on archive.org, and #3 has a section on women. The title is "NOTES ON WOMEN & MAGIC -- Bringing the Distaff Gamer into D & D".

It proceeds roughly how you'd expect from the title.

r/egg_irl had pretty strong rules about that too -- probably because you also have to deal with people uploading photos of others, and its way easier (given the focus of the place) to just ban them completely.