Batman: “Leave me alone, I have to beat up a clown.”

If only Jesus would have been as explicit about his feelings on religious profiteering as he was about his attitude towards abortion, gays, and gun rights.

Which is more immoral: Flock cameras or spreading misinformation about the contents of them so the tweakers dismantle the network for us. Bonus- your catalytic converter remains in place while this happens.

Donnie threatening the Pope, Bennie threatening Spain; Polymarket taking bets on if we get a sequel to the Thirty Years War or 2 Spanish, 2 Inquisition first?

Microplastics are stored in the balls.

ICE vs MICE

Eh, well, despite the narrative that protestors are lazy and wealthy, most of us take a loss to get the day off to protest. Freezing my over-drawn account is not the worst thing to happen to me. By all means, make capitalism impossible, we’ll just be forced to barter and trade.

Starlink is Elon, Starship is Mickey Thomas, Stargate is Ra.

Average American health insurance agent on their way to inform a 6yo they’re not covered.

This is even more hilarious because that type of tape is duct tape. Duck Tape is a specific brand that has become synonymous with the product, like Kleenex for tissue or Xerox for a photocopy.

TIL I learned the Strait of Hormuz is located in the Goat Sea.

How to prepare a frozen pizza for two:

Place pizza in oven➡️sexy time➡️orgasm➡️pizza is ready➡️enjoy!

I worked in a late night pizzeria that served the post-bar crowd. The amount of shit-filled undies (men’s and women’s) we’d find throw in the corner was unreal. So remember that folks, there’s a reasonable chance whoever you’re flirting with at 130am isn’t wearing undies because they’ve already shat themselves.

“Wow, medieval enthusiast, eh? Did I mention I play the trumpet?”