Related in name only. I loved the book and got curious about the movie.

What a boring useless mess of tropes. Brad Pitt travels the world and saves everyone. There, I just saved you 90 minutes.

As an aside, here's Doug Stanhope's experience with insulting Thai royalty.

Doug Stanhope's $12,000 Asian Booboo

SmartPipe is a registered sex offender.

They're really tilting at windmills with that one, eh?

You know what "Ford" stands for, eh?

Fix It Again, Tony.

But to add something to the conversation, my vote goes to Toyota and Honda.

Anecdotally: Had a 1999 Corolla that I drove into the ground, ignored oil changes, was a stupid teen, and it ran fine until I wanted automatic windows. Currently riding in a Nissan Altima, which seems to be pretty great (as long as the transmission doesn't fail, which they can do sometimes).

Parents had a Ford Eacort that was a lemon, and a Ford Escape that was a money-pit.

Not the answer you're looking for, but related - George Gormby - When I'm Cleaning Windows.

Or the dreaded vagina dentata...

Make sure you flash your piece in the gloryhole before cracking it off of the punty.

Taxes are too high, government spending is out of hand, too many immigrants, and it's all the Liberals' fault.

That's it, I'm sawing off my legs! That'll show those Marxist bastards!

Nah, Queen Deluded is a different flavour of crazy. She's doing it to benefit herself, whereas Freemen of the Land don't really have a figurehead they give their money to. The Freemen are usually individual idiots who listen to other dumber (but more confident) people, and have the follow-through to actually commit to their stupidity. Whereas Queen Dildo's followers are actively being duped.

Queen Dildonics is a cult leader with a collective of idiots who give money upwards, whereas the Freemen are mentally ill and broken individuals who want money for themselves based on jibberish. One is a pyramid scheme, the other is a troll-post that became real (like microwaving iPhones to charge them).

Double your drip. Style, and profuse sweating.

Youll pry my sweaty selvedge denim from my warm indigo-stained hands.

"Alright everybody, I'm going to need you to tuck your pants into your socks."

And overnight, I became a sun worshipper.