The onion now owns Alex Jones Info wars, and is hosted by Tim Heidecker who does a pretty good Alex jones voice, and Jim Haggerty who has this conspiracy laced spin off show named after himself. Worth checking out if you're a fan of the onion humor.

You can tell me I'm a doctor, and don't call me Surely.

Every accusation is a confession. Also it's funny to think everyone is a latent homosexual all they need is to come in contact with another homosexual to activate their homosexuality.

Didn't Elon try something similar and lost in court? In case anyone is interested silicon jets tracks billionaires jets.

Edit: I confused silicone and silicon.

Weird how one CEO gets Luigied and suddenly it's bring your kid to work day for president Musk.

I have some bad news for Yeezy. Nazis weren't aren't very fond of brown people either.

How was anyone supposed to know he was gonna do the things he said he wanted to do.

How can we word this so tRump gets his way but also so Biden doesn't get immunity and when will I get another luxury vacation or motorhome?

Clarence Thomas probably.

What really keeps me up at night is wondering what's next? What comes after tRump? Is there an end in sight? Will these Maga morons keep getting dumber/more extreme? I think so.

Remember when Ukraine made a deal to give up it's nuclear weapons in exchange for security? pepperidge farm remembers.

Does anyone else remember when the president's age was a big topic? Suddenly Trump is the oldest candidate and just like that the media doesn't talk about it anymore.

If you have to put a dog in a cage all day, you don't need a dog.

The dishonest leftist media coming from the person who made up a story about a sex traffic victim. When all else fails throw in the "I'm being persecuted" card.

According to the US debt clock the median salary 20 years ago was $32,086 and the median home price was $167,890. Today the median salary is $36,097 and the median home price is $426,973.

The president's age was all the news could talk about until Biden dropped out. Suddenly it wasn't a problem anymore.

Can't wait to see the finger wagging musky has coming. Wake me if there are any real consequences for these morons.

I'll just leave this here.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virgin_boy_egg

The Epstein files don't exist, but if they did they aren't that bad, but if they are it's no big deal cause I'm not in them, but if I am it's fake news, and if it's not it's because Democrats are in them and it's all a hoax, and if I did blow bubba he probably deserved it.

A judge in Alabama ruled the life begins when a guy notices how hot his sister is.

Another not so fun fact is that once the child is married their new spouse is now their guardian. So the child has to have their guardian sign off on legal issues like divorce, or wait till they are of legal age.