quoting from your link: No reductions were statistically significant. Only one difference [re:disease] was statistically significant.

plus it was done by a pro-vegan group with obvious bias. so the results from the pro-vegan funded study are not terribly good at supporting veganism for cats as more healthy. it's about the same, maybe less disease (severity of disease wasn't covered in the abstract but would be a significant part of a decision). show me a study not funded by a pro-vegan group with similar or better results before I consider feeding my pet a diet very different from their natural diet.

my cat loses it if she wakes up and can't see me. I live in a studio. there aren't a lot of "out of sight" options. at one point, there was just a screen between me, in my computer chair, and her, on the bed. we still did the whole call and response.

she doesn't look for me, she just starts yelling until I respond.

my HS graduation was on a Saturday, and my mom's attempt was the following Monday. so I guess this has that beat for awful.

chronic depression really distorts your view of things. my mom honestly didn't think it would taint my graduation or change my plans. sort of, like she was already gone from my life, so she was just trying to wrap things up?

unsurprisingly, even though she wasn't successful, she still managed to screw me and my younger siblings up for a fair bit. it's been 20+ years, and only one of us still is in contact with her.

my cat thinks "up" and "down" both mean "get off my lap".

she also recognizes that when I sit and talk to myself (voice chat) is perfect petting and cuddles time. she's well known to my therapist and team because of zoom meetings.

and both guinea pigs and the cat have all decided that we do cuddles about 830pm. I thought it was "after work and dinner, sometime before bed". but the number of times I look up to see what the fuss is, and it's 830 and all 3 are looking at me expectantly... I assume they figure the time by daylight, because it's not consistent when I get home.

I live in WA state. the state and county response to covid seemed very informed and measured; they based policy on WHO and CDC recommendations, tried to ramp up and ramp down to make it easier, and were transparent with the numbers they were looking at.

We still saw our medical facilities struggling, especially as one of our neighbor states was not particularly great at covid prevention. so when their situation was bad, a lot of them came over here.

when Roe was overturned and abortion bans started going into place, our leaders realized our neighbor was going to once again flood our medical system. so they started stockpiling abortion drugs and doing what they could to increase support.

they're also trying to increase public transit, which I appreciate. it's plagued by corruption and delays, but they are slowly making progress.

Roxy (cat) and Jasper (guinea pig)

"Hey, I need to use my lunch break to get away from work things/have some quiet down time. Give me a break and I'll be better for the afternoon." Subjects you don't want to discuss: "Oooh, that doesn't seem like a topic appropriate for work. What about [thing you are comfortable discussing, work thing]."

I highly recommend becoming very willing to spend time discussing one personal thing so they feel like they're making a connection. I use my pets, but you can use a sports team as some others suggest, or a hobby you don't mind sharing, like your progress on painting minis/knitting that sweater/book you're reading/ latest album from favorite musician. Extroverts want a connection, give them a little and redirect to that thing when they probe.

If your boss persists in bothering you at lunch, ask if you should clock in since this is a work discussion, or if it's really your personal time to use as you wish.

If they persist in bringing up wildly inappropriate topics like sex, say that you're uncomfortable. Make it obvious they're being weird at work. saying "I don't like discussing my sexual preferences at work", or similar, loud enough for others in the breakroom to hear should make them uncomfortable. if that doesn't get you anywhere, there are protections in the US for some things. go to HR, explain you've tried explicitly telling them not to talk to you about whatever inappropriate topic, and it's continuing. Call out that you're feeling harassed by them continuing to bring up this subject that is not work related. HR might want to try a mediated discussion about it; 1 is reasonable, multiple is not.

if it gets to where you need HR and are worried about your legal rights, find a local worker's rights lawyer to provide advice. they should be able to tell you what is reasonable effort from the company to fix the situation. be prepared to lose your job if it gets this far.

you shouldn't have to discuss sex at work as small talk. it can come up in some jobs (medicine, sex work) but shouldn't be in most workplaces, and there are protections from this kind of harassment in the US.

I've had several ferrets, and intelligence definitely varies in them, but it's impressive what their little raisin brains can manage. watching them figure out a puzzle was the most fun.

but it wasn't always fun. I had a ferret with some serious attitude, and he and my sister didn't get along. one day, she shoved him aside with her foot and called him a little shithead. later that day, we found her phone, in it's nice leather case, in his litterbox. he knew exactly how to get even.

same little guy would push open the bathroom door if he could, see I was 'occupied', and then get up to whatever bad idea was the current favorite. it took me a bit to catch on, but I got it after the cute little weasel poked in, then went and dragged a family size bag of m&ms under my roommate's dresser, leaving a trail from my room to hers. little pest knew he had plenty of time before I could catch him at it.

I've allowed my partner to refer to me as girlfriend to make discussion with others easier. I don't love it, it doesn't sound like a longterm adult relationship, but I recognize it's easier to say "my wife and my girlfriend".

and both of us go to family Christmas, though not everyone needs to know relationship status.

... you're absolutely right about the scheduling thing though.

my guinea pig herdleader likes when everyone gets to eat a treat.

she didn't really get why the cat liked meatpaste, but she'd yell until I put out a treat for the cat. I often grab a little something to eat while I sit next to the pen with them while they eat their veggies. it makes them feel like I am part of their little herd. i get all the positive reinforcement grooming and nuzzling affection.

she's just a little too greedy to give me her food, though.

for a lot of people in long term polyamory, it's about intimacy, which sex is part of. even if you have relationships that are primarily about fun sexy times, you're probably going to do a lot of scheduling to maintain those relationships, or find new ones.

I knew a guy in real life who got into men's rights and Men Going Their Own Way nonsense- basically, he had sex so he didn't qualify for incel, but he held a lot of the same beliefs.

I was the only woman he seemed to have any respect for. He didn't respect his mother or younger sister, felt they had taken advantage of his dad and were now taking advantage of him. The one girlfriend I know he had, was very manipulative and not a good girlfriend.

I pointed out all the issues with his thinking and his MRA, MGOTW sources multiple times. he'd come back around to being reasonable for a while, then wander back into the toxic wilds of the internet. eventually, I gave up; I can't be the only voice of reason you bother to listen to.

paper calendars work ok. apps are better at collating and predicting based on past data, and therefore giving you a better idea when and what to expect and whether it's "normal".

apps can help you provide a condensed report, which helps when seeking help from a doctor. it shouldn't work that way, but at least in my anecdotal experience, the Dr who dismisses handwritten notes for 3 months, was more reasonable when it was "data collected via app".

I stopped using an app a few years ago, because of privacy issues, but there are absolutely good reasons people still use them when a calendar works.

imagine you start to get your shit together, start some habits to get you on a better footing, and then there's a week where you just can't every month. and maybe there's also a mid-month slump, because hormones suck.

i didn't see a therapist until i had one weekend to run all the errands, see doctors and vets, clean the house up... there was just the one weekend where i was sure i'd have enough of an upswing.

-general anxiety and depression diagnosis, plus PMDD (pre-menstrual dysphoria disorder), the drugs are great and i'm better now

to an extent, it really does differ by state. however, housing costs went up significantly for both buying a house or renting in the last 2 years.

I live in the greater Seattle area, but not in Seattle, which is fairly expensive. I make about $50k per year, which is about $3400/ month take home after taxes and paying for health insurance. $1550 of that goes to rent. internet costs me $60/ month; I could get cheaper, crappier internet, but this way I also get to work from home a few days a week and enjoy online video games. power varies, depending on if I need to run the heat. for the summer, it's about $60/month, in the winter it might go up to $200/month. I don't do well in the cold, I could save money but sleep poorly and risk getting sick by not warming up so much. my brother has a deal for phone service, so we share a family plan where my share is $30/ month. I don't have a car now, I ride the bus generally. that's about $50/ month, but varies if I need to be in the office more or go more places than my usual sedentary habits.

if you're keeping track, that's about $1600/ month left after allocated expenses. I haven't talked about food or other household necessities, or any fun leisure stuff. you'll also notice I don't have any student loans or medical debt or a car loan. I did spend a full year unemployed during covid, and ran up my credit card staying afloat. so I've got about $20k debt that I put at least $500/ month toward.

getting a car would be prohibitively expensive here - in addition to the cost of the car, I'd also be paying $100/ month to park it, +gas, +insurance. I've lived in other states where not having a vehicle meant you couldn't work, because there was no effective public transit. usually those places didn't have the parking expense, but gas and insurance alone are more expensive than my transit costs here usually are.

I'm pretty ok for this area. my rent is pretty cheap for a studio apartment (no bedroom, just living area, private kitchen, private bathroom). my debt is fairly low, and my credit remains pretty good, so if I need a loan it's an option.

yep. I self-select out of dog friendly offices. if that's a "benefit", I can't work there.

my grandparents have passed away now, but when i knew them they were unfailingly polite in public.

in private, Grandma had reservations about japanese people. i gave her leeway. Pearl Harbor was bombed on her birthday, and Grandpa went to Iwo Jima. i still felt i could bring a japanese boyfriend around, and as long as i was happy, he'd be treated right. Grandpa didn't even suggest reservations. he took everyone as an individual worthy of respect until their behavior suggested differently.

my parents are in their 60s now, but i don't have contact with them for other reasons. the last time i looked at my mom's twitter i thought she had been hacked, the MAGA rhetoric she was spewing was so awful. not hacked, just an asshole.

they are an amazing amount of work. I think most people up for that work get toddlers instead. loved them when I had them, no longer have the energy.

the leash was always more a reminder there were limits than any sort of control option. throw that weasel in reverse and the harness pops right over the head and he's free.

My cat recognizes the tea kettle whistle as time to get off my lap. "Up" and "Down" mean the same thing (you need to get down so I can get up).

She's not the brightest, but a warning that she needs to move means I get clawed less.

as long as you don't think the function bar is a search bar. coworker opened my excel spreadsheet and I guess thought it functioned like Google?

I was right behind her to train so no formulas were injured.