Why would it be different? 😈

BDSM Connect

There are a ton of good books out there, but mainly I would say just practice. Be gentle with yourself. Communicate a lot. You're going to make mistakes and that's ok. Make sure your sub is on the same page.

The New Topping Book is a good place to start. If you get more into the mental aspects I like pretty much everything from Raven Kaldera. Robert Rubel (Dr Bob) has some good stuff but he can be a little dry. I have met Raven on several occasions, he tours the country teaching kink. Dr Bob I'm proud to call a friend. I would also recommend reading the stickies in the Submissive Women forum on Fetlife, there's a lot of good insight into the minds of submissves there.

Are you in Texas? In Austin and Dallas we have formal training programs for both Doms and subs. It's a year-long program, roughly one Saturday a month with lots of homework, that runs Dec to Dec. It's super cheap, document fee and 8 hours of volunteer time. It is a lot of work. Class size is about 30 people. All the instructors/mentors are volunteers. None of us get paid.

I also run a for-pay academy for folks who can't afford to be recognized (politicians mostly) but it's not cheap.

I'm hoping this group can supplement or replace r/bdsmadvice for specific questions. What do you want advice on?

The best advice I can give you for rope is to find your local community and find someone who can mentor you. Videos can be helpful but a video can't see when you're doing it wrong and correct you. Rope is probably the most underestimated danger in kink, so many incidents of nerve damage.