Oh, just book a trip to Florida and burn down Mar-a-Lago. Why hadn't I thought of that before?

Yeah, the fact she already had the bottle in the car...

Your dad hired you a nanny when you were 22?

Since the US is currently under daylight saving time 11PM CST would be midnight. We are CDT now.

I'm sure 7-11 doesn't sell these but instead sell their own brand of microwave cheeseburger.

Even worse: Imagine being the guy working on this and being proud of yourself.

Ask them how the Uyghurs in China are doing.

ITT: Commenters so eager to shit on people they miss the most obvious satire.

What the fuck does ADHD have to do with Doordash?

Unionizing is NEVER illegal. Source: The thousands upon thousands of people that have died over the years for your right to organize.

Whining about downvotes? That's a downvote.

I mean... That's pretty much what they did.

If the year in solitary confinement doesn't turn you into a psychopath the $30 billion will!

Are the straights OK?

No, no, no. He was a piece of shit before he got elected he just hid it better before the stroke.

I couldn't even fucking read it.

Nowhere did they say "fascism" is a German word.

It's a screenshot of a tweet, I don't know what further proof you could want. Did you not see the blue checkmark? /s

I have a special hatred for school police officers.

Paisley Blimpson sounds like a cool name.