People who own guns are at a much higher risk of suicide. Guns might make you feel safe, but in reality the most likely person to die from your gun is yourself.

Alright, listen.

I understand you're considering starting HRT, and that's a big decision, so it's only natural you have fears and doubts. It's also natural to seek advice and confirmation from people who have already been through this process.

You ask what it was like when we decided to do it. I believe you want to know what it feels like -- what is the feeling we had when we were certain, when we knew for sure that this is what we wanted. Well, allow me tell you.

That feeling doesn't exist.

I also had doubts when I started. But I started anyway, because, given what I knew at the time, I believed it was the right choice. Now I can tell you that starting HRT is the best thing I've ever done -- but this is something I can only tell you in hindsight.

Your post is very similar to several ones I have seen from questioning people asking what it feels like to know you're trans, or what was the moment when you figured it out. They seem to believe they can't act on their feelings until they're 100% sure. They seem to believe there is a magic moment when all doubts disappear. Well, there isn't.

Mind you, I'm not telling you to start right away either -- it's perfectly fine to take your time and think it through. Hell, I'm not even telling you to start at all. You're the only one who can tell if this is right for you. It's a frustrating answer, I know, but it's the only honest one I can give you.

I hope this doesn't come across as rude, but I'm honestly tired of seeing trans people riddled with imposter syndrome, second-guessing every step they take, and holding themselves to an unrealistic standard of being absolutely certain of everything. You will always have doubts. Don't let them paralyze you.

This is the last poem I wanted to share here.

I'd like to thank you all for reading, and I sincerely appreciate all of your kind comments. I'm glad to know my poems resonated with so many people -- that's why I wanted to share them here, in the first place.

The only thing I still have to share is a short novel I wrote, that I mentioned in an earlier comment, but it's still being reviewed. Who knows how long it will take. And of course, I know I'll keep writing -- but inspiration is fickle and hard to come by. I may come back with something else in the future.

Thanks again!

HRT affects your fertility but doesn't make it drop to zero. Trans women who top and whose partner has a uterus still need to take precautions to avoid an unwanted pregnancy.

I remember you shared the letter here. I'm glad to know her initial reaction was good. Things won't always go smoothly between you, but as long as she's trying to understand and support you, it'll be alright. Good luck on your journey!

I wish I could be the chaos activist but my bed is soooo comfy

I don't think there were any bad intentions on OP's end, but the highlighted claim that a person is female and therefore has this or that genitalia is indeed transphobic.

Someone's probably going to show up and say "but it says 'female', not 'woman'!" Well, "female" as an adjective referring to people already means woman. A female doctor is a doctor who is a woman. And "female" as a noun (e.g., "the females") is a terrible way to refer to people, to begin with.

Now it's more important than ever to go. We need to show the transphobes and homophobes out there that we LGBTQ+ people and our allies are far more numerous than they think.

It's depressing that the original one was changed in the first place -- our existence can't even be acknowledged in a video game without people collectively freaking out... Well, at least they fixed it now.

I fail to see how that community is pushing back against any system by repeating the same tired talking points that dissuade people from voting.

I did, and he turned me down. We're still good friends to this day though, so it wasn't a bad ending either.

Absolutely. Before starting HRT I felt constantly frustrated about... something. There was some deeply rooted resentment in me and I didn't know what it was about. And yet, people would constantly tell me how I was so "calm". I'm sure that was just me not caring about anything.

Finding out I'm trans did help with some of that, to some extent. But only when I started HRT did these things really vanish. I just feel normal now. Like this is what it should've been from the beginning.

A manga called Love me for who I am.

The main character is non-binary but presents in a feminine way, and they're recruited by a classmate to work on a maid cafe. The story is very sincere, and shows many of the struggles we face. I've read it pretty early on my transition and related hard to many of the characters. On that note, there's so many colors of the rainbow in there -- trans women, cross-dressing cis guys, gay guys, a lesbian woman, and of course the non-binary protagonist. It's a great story.

I'll just copy-paste what I said last time:

The idea that gender is entirely socially constructed is easily the greatest misconception about gender that gets repeated time and again – almost always by cis people, who never think too much about it because they’ve never had to reconsider their own gender.

Gender roles and gender stereotypes really are socially constructed, like the idea that some clothes are feminine and others are masculine, just to name one example. Gender identity, however, is not. If that was true, like the previous commenter was saying, conversion therapy for trans people would work, when it’s been shown it absolutely doesn’t. Gender dysphoria isn’t a social construct either. Many trans people see their own lives improve considerably after taking HRT (hormone therapy) and having gender-affirming surgeries – how can that be explained socially? Also, we know there is a genetic component to being trans as well, because of twin studies. All of which shows there really is a biological component to gender – just not in the “gender = genitals” way that transphobes think.

I feel that I should preface this by warning questioning people that looking for signs is generally not a good way to find out if you're trans. Different people experience being trans in different ways.

Having said that... There were so many signs. Daydreaming about being a girl. Being uncomfortable about being shirtless in public. Feeling a deep admiration for women. Nearly only relating to female characters. Never falling in love for gay men despite being attracted to men.

I remember when I was playing the sims. I made a female character and the game was so much fun. Then after my sim died, I decided to make a male character, and suddenly I lost interest in the game. It was the exact same game, but being a woman just seemed so much more fun... I should've known.

We already have "trans pride" and "gender envy", what about trans sloth?

Where do you come from, and where you wanna go this time?

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Seriously though, first I found out I was interested in men (thought I was bi at first), that made me start seeing more lgbtq-related stuff. One day I found someone saying they were "questioning their gender" and I was like, "what is that supposed to mean?" So I looked it up.

A few weeks and an existential crisis later, I finally figured out I'm a woman.

Later on I realized the feelings I've always had for women weren't really attraction. but envy and admiration. (And yes, I know those are not mutually exclusive.) So everyone assumed I was a man attracted to women, but in reality I'm a woman attracted to men. I did a full 180 and yet, I'm still straight. Ain't that something

My female friends accepted me as one of them immediately, no questions asked. Nowadays I'd say anything less than that is disrespectful, but back then it meant the world to me.

I wonder why you picked that username

This is pretty good. I do have a few suggestions, but of course, these are only suggestions -- it's your letter, and your mom, after all.

First, I understand that you kept the masculine form of words because you don't want to overwhelm your mom, right? I definitely understand that, but I think it sends a dubious message as well. You're saying you're trans, but you're still referring to yourself with male terms. That could certainly backfire -- at worst, your mom could infer that deep down, you don't really see yourself as a woman after all. Have you considered switching halfway from masculine to feminine words instead? For example, from the "I'm pretty sure I'm transgender" point onward. That really drives the point home of "you've known me as a man up until now, but from now on I want you to treat me as a woman".

Also, at some point you say "I don't know what you've heard about trans people" which leads me to think she might have some misconceptions and prejudice. Many people associate being trans with "moral degradation", so at worst, she might think of your coming out as a sign that you're going to start using drugs and whatnot... It might be a good idea to emphasize that you're still the same person as always, only your gender isn't what they thought.

Having said all that, I hope it goes well for you.