2
309
moon

@lemmy.ml

moon 140 points 2 years ago

He dreamed of eating green apples with worms.

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moon 133 points 2 years ago

The estate agent quickly marked out his territory on the dance floor.

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moon 122 points 2 years ago

He decided water-skiing on a frozen lake wasn’t a good idea.

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moon 110 points 2 years ago

David subscribes to the "stuff your tent into the bag" strategy over nicely folding it.

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moon 97 points 2 years ago

I'll have you know I've written over fifty novels

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moon 82 points 2 years ago

His ultimate dream fantasy consisted of being content and sleeping eight hours in a row.

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moon 70 points 2 years ago

He wasn't bitter that she had moved on but from the radish.

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moon 67 points 2 years ago

The average person: Spotify sucks and is making me hate them even more

Shareholders seeing layoffs followed by AI replacements for those workers and then repeated price hikes: 🤑

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moon 66 points 2 years ago

Strawberries must be the one food that doesn't go well with this brand of paint.

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moon 62 points 3 years ago

The most mildly infuriating thing about this post is a parent not letting a child do their own work because they would do it slowly. I've read all the responses, clearly OP is not willing to reflect on what others are telling him. I just feel sorry for the child whose peers are getting practice in basic life skills that she won't have the opportunity to because her dad thinks he knows better than her teachers and the curriculum. His own ego is so wrapped up in his child writing a good essay and showing 'critical thinking' that he's not letting her do her own work. He admits to cheating. Just a wretched situation that I hope turns around when another adult steps in or his child gets old enough to tell him to back off.

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moon 59 points 2 years ago

They finished building the road they knew no one would ever use.

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moon 59 points 2 years ago

The best part of marriage is animal crackers with peanut butter.

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moon 57 points 2 years ago

When transplanting seedlings, candied teapots will make the task easier.

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moon 56 points 2 years ago

We're careful about orange ping pong balls because people might think they're fruit.

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moon 55 points 2 years ago

Imagine his surprise when he discovered that the safe was full of pudding.

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moon 55 points 2 years ago

8% of 25 is the same as 25% of 8 and one of them is much easier to do in your head.

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moon 46 points 2 years ago

There's no debate but we do need to be loud about what happened because mask-off Nazi shit cannot be ignored. Especially not when the entire media ecosystem has decided to preemptively lie down and let this go down as an 'awkward gesture'

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moon 45 points 2 years ago

He strives to keep the best lawn in the neighborhood.

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moon 44 points 2 years ago

He is a car salesman after all. The horse is free but if she wants the stable and upkeep payments to be covered, she'll have to go for a longer deal

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moon 41 points 2 years ago

The relatively low level of atlas

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