When you looked up this recipe, was there an age verification prompt?

Can someone remind the Latino that he's a means to an end and not really in the club?

This deserves to be a billboard. I'd rather see this on the interstate than some bullshit "I have a heartbeat at 6 weeks" propaganda.

Is there a vigilante academy that teaches people how to investigate and expose rapists so their lives are the ones getting destroyed? Because I can get behind that.

Let's just call them immigrants or undocumented. "Illegal" just makes them sound like rapists and murderers.

This lady on the street wanted me to get her a Popeye's chicken sandwich, and she offered to pay me back with a blowjob.

That was a wild lunch break.

Of course he did. And who owns Venezuela's oil now? Trump donors.

Check the sheriff's hard drive.

"STU-pid...GOD-damn...MO-ther-FU-oh, hey!!"

Somehow, the less teeth they have, the more teeth you feel, so not great.

I would enjoy the hell out of XCOM if it played more like Mass Effect.

"A great day this has turned out to be. I'm suicidal, me mate tries to kill me, me gun gets nicked and we're still in fookin' Bruges!"

The Grim Reaper has terrible aim.

Breast implants can squeak.

you hear squeaking as your co-anchor wheels away from you

Next thing you know, you turn 18, you get a notification on your laptop saying you've been enrolled in the Selective Service, you get a knock on your door, a military officer greets you, and says, "Good morning! We've taken notice of your academics and your Steam library...have you thought about your future, son?"

At least in the States, I believe it's for religious and financial reasons. Correct me if I'm wrong, but allowing someone to off themselves could be condemning them to hell. Also, to be cynical, medically assisted "checking out" is the easier, cheaper way out, instead of burning through money in a hospital.

Personally, I don't see anything wrong with ending the suffering of a terminal illness. Prolonged suffering is unnecessary, and a person should have the right to go out on their own terms.

I love you, Dad.

We're low-contact and he's had some health scares. It's a sensitive relationship, but I still love him.

Fuentes in 2025: "Your body, my choice!" 😂

Fuentes in 2026: "I miss Obama!" 😭

After I had a Kindle book removed from my account and device years ago, I decided to strip the DRM from my books and host them myself. There are better ways of procuring and storing your media.