Also that table would be generated by Xdebug, not PHP itself. PHP's traces are plain text by default. That said Xdebug is pretty good in itself, I've used it for a decade.
The stack traces are fine. You can even define a global handler for unhandled exceptions to log them, and it gives you an opportunity to also inspect every value of every function argument and whatnot. It's not lacking in debugging abilities that way.
If you're gonna make fun of PHP errors, at least make fun of "PHP Error: Unexpected T_PAAMAYIM_NEKUDOTAYIM on line 69".
Tell me you've never used PHP without telling me you've never used PHP.
It's known for giving a complete stack trace, it's nearest neighbours and their god damn grandkids the moment it so much as coughs up a warning. For the longest time it was notorious for doing this as the default error logging level.
I'm aware it's cool to hate on PHP, but it has plenty of things to dislike without straight-up inventing nonsense.
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