What are the most appropriate responses to some very uncomfortable and awkward questions?

3 years ago by Datman2020 to c/asklemmy

Share any question you've been asked which would make any other person feel awkward from answering it and an answer to responsibly deal with it without compromising yourself.

Followupquestion 39 points 3 years ago

“Are you two trying for a baby yet?”

“Not that it’s your business, but I prefer facials to creampies.”

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Aaron 35 points 3 years ago

My partner gave the reply "No, we're just practicing", the lady looked horrified. You asked about a near stranger's sex life, lady. I don't know what she expected.

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_haha_oh_wow_ 8 points 3 years ago

I am stealing this, tell your partner thanks!

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Followupquestion 5 points 3 years ago

“Hard to get pregnant the way we do it. Pull-out isn’t reliable enough so we go for the poophole loophole.”

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Nollij 10 points 3 years ago

Another good one is to horrify them- get quiet and uncomfortable, and say something about how the doctors think you're infertile.

Assuming these are people you just met, of course.

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kite 6 points 3 years ago

You don't even have to get quiet and uncomfortable. Just saying it matter-of-factly gets them all horrified as well.

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Nollij 5 points 3 years ago

True, but getting quiet puts a point on exactly how personal their question was.

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Barbacamanitu 6 points 3 years ago

Lmao. I love it. Be as vulgar and personal as possible.

"I prefer for my husband to shoot his cum into my asshole or all over my face"

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southsamurai 38 points 3 years ago

How big is your dick?

This was asked by the daughter of a patient while I was working home health.

She was 14.

I did not go back lol.

My answer was, " ma'am, that's not a question to ask someone, much less an adult you barely know."

Home health can be fun lol.

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ingy 9 points 3 years ago

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Apytele 4 points 3 years ago

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ingy 1 point 3 years ago

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cat 8 points 3 years ago

That's actually a good response, I think I would be stunned by such a question.

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southsamurai 2 points 3 years ago

I was lol

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Apytele 6 points 3 years ago

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Onionizer 5 points 3 years ago

"Idk ask your mom"

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Dick_Justice 36 points 3 years ago

aRe YoU a ToP oR A bOTToM??

Absolute strangers will ask you that the moment they find out you're gay.

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dojan 21 points 3 years ago

Are you the man or the woman????

My response is usually “are you the man or the woman in your relationship?”

We’re both men, that’s the whole point!

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Barbacamanitu 4 points 3 years ago

"We're both the woman"

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Lemmylefty 9 points 3 years ago

“Why, trying to figure out if we’re compatible?”

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Melobol 8 points 3 years ago

I believe some comedian suggested to respond with a similar vulgar question about their sex life. I think that's a fair point.
Tho you can always ask them if their first question to a stranger is a deeply personal one to get their own perversions fed. That way you are still on the high horse :)

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Barbacamanitu 5 points 3 years ago

Just say "we're both the bottom" and confuse the shit out of them. Or "he's the bottom and I'm the girl"

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dekatron 30 points 3 years ago

"Are you always this quiet?"

"It usually takes me some time to be comfortable around new people."

I've found that people are usually quite understanding and make an effort to include you in conversations if you just be honest with them instead of being snarky.

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Barbacamanitu 2 points 3 years ago

I just stare at them.

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Lemmylefty 22 points 3 years ago

“How’s the job search coming?” is usually meant to be encouraging, but it can feel like a stab in the back if you read it as “still unemployed, huh?”

What can help is to approach this from a “seen any job opening that piques your interest?” view. Think of 2-3 positions, locations, etc., that you can talk about with some interest. Maybe you’ve never worked in that field, so you tell the person that you hadn’t considered it before and what might draw your interest, or there’s an opening in a city/place you’ve never been and you can talk about that. Most people aren’t looking for the spiel, so this satisfies them without embarrassing either of you.

This doubles as practicing interview questions (“why do you want this job?”) that you’ll need in the future, anyways.

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jbrains 11 points 3 years ago

"Is it that you can't have children?"

Reply that never fails: "What was your intention when you asked that question?"

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pectoralis 10 points 3 years ago

Q: "Do you think you will ever love your adopted son as much as a real parent would?"

Fuuuuuuck you...

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