As a Gay that is questioning their spirituality, I'd like some guidance (but please don't be judgmental)

a year ago by Leax177 to c/gaybros

So, I made a post talking about how I'm questioning what I believe in after being a militant atheist for many years, and for any Gays who are in the same or a similar boat, who did become spiritual or even religious I'd implore you to share your stories with me, or direct me to other communities if you'd like!

(Disclaimer: if you're a self hating Gay that wants to "save" me from my "sinful ways" or whatever don't fucking bother, I'm only looking for groups that'd accept me for who I am. Period.)

protist 12 points a year ago

You can be atheist without being militant. You don't have to demean or look down upon others. You can just accept other people for who they are, which is the same thing you're seeking for yourself

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Leax177 2 points a year ago

I mean yeah I know that, but what I'm trying to say is that I'm not sure I ever was truly an atheist. I'd just like some support and guidance here is all.

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BoulevardBlvd 3 points a year ago

Right, but what does support and guidance mean? That's too vague to be useful. We don't even know what religion you think you might be. You haven't said.

If it's in your other post you mention (I'm about to go check) then for the future, the polite thing to do would be to link to that context in the initial post

But from what you've written here, you're not going to get anything useful.

So, let's start with what does "I don't know if I ever was truly an atheist" mean to you? (Its a big, complicated question I'm sure. Take the time and page space to be specific)

(This is genuine. I'd be happy to talk about it, I just don't have enough info to be helpful)

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Leax177 2 points a year ago

I apologize for the vagueness here, part of it comes from, just, I guess not knowing I suppose? I'll try and make this as short as possible. Basically, I was raised in a Catholic household, and part of that is why I would eventually push Christianity away when I realized I was Gay, because I felt like Abrahamic religions were incompatible with LGBTQ rights. That was also part of it, but the other part was I just didn't fit in with anyone at that particular church (which also wasn't Queer friendly) so I became a militant atheist when I accepted my Queerness. After years of depression and not doing much with my life, I started to think more about those I've lost, and many months ago started to have a series of reoccurring dreams in which my dogs, who passed a few years ago, were in this beautiful... Place. I don't know what to call it.

Anyway, I realized that if there is an afterlife, I can only imagine how disappointed they'd be that I've wasted these years depressed, angry, and not doing anything with my life. So that's why I'm searching for something that assures me that they're okay, and that tells me that one day I'll see them again, and that I'm not a mistake or a burden. My spirit feels so broken, but for my precious fur babies, I want to try. I want them to be proud of me. I know this might seem silly to some, but besides wanting to find a sense of community, belonging, and wanting to heal the scars in my soul, my dogs are one of my biggest reasons for trying to find what spirituality means for me and trying to change for the better.

Any input would be greatly appreciated. 🙏

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peanuts4life 1 point a year ago

You should lead with this. It helps frame what you're going through and looking for. I don't have any advice personally, as I'm not religious, but I'm glad you're feeling motivated to grow and find community. Have you considered joining a Unitarian church? They are pan religious churches that have members of any and every religion, even atheist.

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can 7 points a year ago

Hey, unrelated, but did you know you have your account set to appear as a bot and many may be filtering your content out as a result? You can change this in your Lemmy profile settings.

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Leax177 3 points a year ago

Thanks, I didn't know. 👍

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can 2 points a year ago

No worries. Did you uncheck it? You're still showing as a bot to me.

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Leax177 3 points a year ago

Just did, sorry forgot about that lol.

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CrowyTech 3 points a year ago

I'm gay and have been Christian (Anglican, CofE specifically) for about 7 years now

I'm definitely questioning joining the Quakers though.

I'm happy with having a faith if only I can also have science. Over time I went from being atheist (teens) agnostic (latter teens - mid twenties) now Anglican and Quaker curious.

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meyotch 2 points a year ago

Quakers are fscking bad ass! In my experience, I have found many truly good and diligent people through my interactions with that community.

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Leax177 2 points a year ago

I've heard a lot of good things about the Quakers.

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meyotch 2 points a year ago

I was raised deep in Mormon country, became aware of my man-loving tendencies and how much that was hated there. So I fought my way out at great personal cost.

I now have great, but usually reserved, disdain for simple-minded god-botherers of every flavor. Devoted but unexamined beliefs are mentally and emotionally crippling to the believer, it matters not the potential depth and value of the belief system itself. If the believer is shallow, the belief is shallow.

Here’s my take on ‘spirituality’. If you haven’t considered seriously (and felt it, balls to bone) what it would mean if your treasured beliefs were mere fictional creations, then you have no spirituality at all.

In my 50’s, I have finally built some strong sustaining beliefs, a community and practices around my lifelong interest in yoga. Yoga isn’t exactly a religion, it is deeply intertwined with several religions yet has maintained a distinct identity.

Many don’t know much about yoga beyond the physical exercise aspects of it, but if you like philosophy, anthropology and history, the rabbit hole is bottomless.

Couple that with the well proven physical and neurological benefits of a sustained practice, which I have been enjoying greatly in recent years, and I have finally found a ‘spirituality’ that satisfies my scientific mind and my need for community, connection and shared meaning.

Hope that helps.

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bold_omi 1 point 7 months ago

I highly recommend reading "God and the Gay Christian," even if you do so from an agnostic stance. It's a great book by a gay pastor named Matthew Vines.

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TwoBeeSan 1 point a year ago

Was never crazy atheist but have seen enough cosmic circumstance to at least be open to the idea of some sort of divinity.

I don't think you have to find a hard label unless you're really looking for that group spirituality. It's always been a private thing to me but each their own.

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mangodouble 1 point a year ago

I hear you. I grew up catholic and then had the but I am gay fall out. I don’t think I will ever come back to Christianity simply because the church itself seems poised at adhering to old values that don’t adapt to the world we live in now. I’ve been dating someone raised as Quaker and it does seem like this religion strips all of the catholic BS.

That being said I’ve found solace in eastern philosophy and spirituality. Namely Buddhism. I like the idea that they believe in science and what they see. If I can disprove a point with science, according to the Dali lama he is able to change the way he thinks. I was raised in western society and value science in helping me understand the world. I have been going to zen temple and find it wonderful to have community, where we meet to meditate and explore our lives to be more mindful and be more present in our lives.

They do have a vastly different view on “death and the after life.”
Don’t worry about an after life, live your life in the present moment. We are all connected, even your pets that passed away, they ,might have passed but when they did they again became party of everything. Or maybe they will enter rebirth into another being I might come across and why it might be nice to treat any and every body as if they had been your furry friend.

Spirituality can be beautiful and fulfilling. Don’t let organized religion ruin it for you

-a spiritual atheist

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