Completely agree, this just promotes silos between cultures/people and more misunderstandings.
If someone tells you they don't want to be bothered then of course leave them alone, but you can't know that without approaching them first.
Don't agree with the message in this comic at all.
I have learned so much by just asking, Most people are more than happy to talk about themselves as long as you are respectful.
2946292946% THIS!
The whole “I’m not your Google” shtick has done more to harm marginalized communities and minorities than it’s helped. People who are “ally-curious” often are afraid to expand their knowledge by asking first hand experiences. So they go and Google shit. And then they come to their own conclusions and are subsequently shit on by people in the very community they support because they’re accused of assuming one’s experience.
I’m trans in a small town of about 7k. I can say with certainty that my openness to have respectful conversations about it when asked has improved things overall. If I had taken the stance presented here, the first, and likely ONLY first hand conversation with a trans person these people would ever have would have been a negative one and therefor painted us ALL negatively.
Just get back to having open, honest fucking conversations people.
Fuck. Just… FUCK. This just pisses me off.
Ok. Deeeeeep breaths.
I mean, if someone asks a polite question, the other person can just as politely say “I’d rather not talk about that”, and then everyone goes along with their day
At which part of the comic are you speaking for yourself?
The part where you are a brown male wheelchair rider, the part where you are a muslim woman or the part where you are a white blind man?
If you want to speak for yourself, please speak for yourself and not for everyone else.
Asking people their personal experience is the most appropriate way to learn about things outside your own experience.
Yeah, some people don't want to share. Those people can say that. When everyone uses their words instead of making assumptions about what people do and don't want, the world is a better place.
It's interesting that you say specifically, "sought out and othered", because I think that without the experience of being not just a minority but discriminated against, this just wouldn't even come up. I've had so many conversations with people from different cultures where we told each other about various traditions, foods and all sorts. It's the most natural conversation in the world when in mixed company. But there is no tinge of prejudice in the experiences I am thinking of.
You don’t know how a person on the street or anywhere else will respond to ANY interaction. By this logic we just shouldn’t talk to one another.
We ALL get it. You’re burned out. Take a seat champ. You’re also alone in your thinking here and trying to force others to commit to saying fuck off to any who want to genuinely learn and maybe help our communities.
Smfh
Ok, so you took it upon yourself to speak for groups of people that YOU DO NOT BELONG TO, because why exactly?
Because they think they are to weak to speek for themselves?
Because you think you need to force your help upon them?
You are exactly the guy "helping" the blind person in the third panel. Dude, really, get a grip. That behaviour is not ok.
Unless OOP is a blind wheel-chair riding muslim woman, OOP is trying to talk for other people.
Likely, OOP is neither blind, a wheel-chair rider, a muslim or a woman, and probably has never been in a situation like the one described in the cartoon, otherwise OOP would have actually used themself in a real-world situation.
My child has a disability, and we always talk to anyone who has questions, because answering questions is the only way to help people understand, and understanding is the only way to counter discrimination and to help people accomodate the needs of people who don't fall inside the "norm".
So OP, please stop spreading crap.
I feel like the comic is giving the wrong take away in each of the 3 situations.
1 isnt a problem because of questions, it's a problem because the mother is speaking for them, by claiming 'they wont mind.'
The only problem i see with 2 is the 'have to' verbiage, implying its an external imposition, not a choice.
The problem witb 3 is forcing someone to accept help.
In all 3, its not a problem of trying to help, or learn, its speaking for or acting for them, against their wishes.
Taking away others agency is almost always a problem.
That's a good takeaway and it's one I can totally agree with.
After 40 years I will continue to discuss the same thing with different people. Because while I talk about the same thing, these people are having the same discussion for the first time.
I'm also part of a religious minority, and I have had to answer the same questions for my whole life.
This means, I know all the things someone might ask or say, and I already know what to answer. It's super easy.
So you have the choice: Learn your "performance" and easily walk through it or choose to be an asshole with the purpose of being misunderstood. Sounds like an easy choice to me, but you do you.
Edit: Please read your links before posting them. The first one is about an entirely different problem that has nothing to do with what we are talking about. The second one is just a teaser text for a video that's not available anymore.
Nah, this ain't it. My disability is mine. You can't educate yourself about it without asking me. You can educate yourself about similar disabilities affecting similar people, but not about mine specifically. So ask. Could you upset me? Sure. Could you trigger me? Absolutely. But you won't know unless you ask, and I would never fault someone who just earnestly wanted to know more about another person, even if they accidentally caused harm in doing so.
Interacting with people comes with the inherent risk of causing harm, but it is necessary in order for us to understand each other and gain respect for one another. If you're uncomfortable about someone earnestly approaching you to ask about something, that's fine, just tell them. But don't try to promote the idea that it's bad to even earnestly approach someone in the first place.
Counterpoint and 'don't be an asshole' is a 2 way street.
Which is what my caveat was addressing by not being an asshole going both ways especially in the last panel from your comic by "helping" and the premise from your first and second panel by don't ask me about it or I'm not going to educate you.
Personal anecdote: Had some ask me why I was wearing long sleeves at the beach in the 95°F summertime weather by a dark haired kid. I explained to him that I don't produce as much melanin as he does and I just prefer it to all over body coverage of sunscreen. Life as a ginger is what it is and I've had the stance that there are no stupid questions when asked in good faith, but plenty of stupid answers.
Hey, I'm a minority and you can ask me whatever you want. 95% of those interactions have been positive for me.
Most people I've met with visible disabilities would prefer to have a discussion about it, since most people just stare awkwardly. YMMV
Hard disagree. If you won't take the time out of your day to explain to a curious passerby something about your identity that puts you in a minority, you are making an active choice to passively perpetuate prejudice.
It's not even about the information. As a member of a group, whenever you encounter someone not from your group you unwittingly become an ambassador for your group to that person. Whether you like it or not, that person's opinion of your group is directly influenced by how you respond.
If you politely educate, people will come away with a more positive opinion of your group than if you dismiss or demean them. And if their curiosity is taking up too much of your time and energy, you have the advantageous ability to refer them to resources that you know and trust.
The general population, in my experience, puts more stock in anecdotal evidence than research. Add onto that all the pop culture and pseudoscience articles and the advent of AI like ChatGPT, you're putting blind faith and trust in someone else's ability to learn about something that is a part of your daily life.
Now, some people who struggle with social interactions should be given the patience and grace they need. But denying your role as an ambassador of your group because you see it as 'not your responsibility' negatively impacts your community. It's an incredibly selfish, shortsighted act that causes harm through follow-on interactions.
Never interact with anyone in case they don't want to interact with you. If you have to tell someone you don't want to talk you've already been irrevocably traumatised.
The alternative is not that people "educate themselves" in some other way it's that everyone is more ignorant.
Exactly. We still have to have a society, we just need to be considerate about it
People educating themselves is how they fall into conspiracy theories and alt right ideologies. No thanks.
You know damn well that's not what they're going to do.
This zinger:
you can educate your self without bothering others
Is in the same lieu of:
It's not my job to be nice
I’ve read the 🧵, OP posted this to be antisocial, and cement their ASPD against the quo.
If you're a neurologist enthusiast like me, you already know to educate folks you’ll probably never meet again. Even a simple “my disabilities are XYZ, here is my pamphlet about how I want to be interacted with.” is good enough. Access to biased education is a privilege. Access to knowledge of your unique disabilities and how you deal with them, priceless.
It's literally upto you how you want to engage in your priceless interaction with someone curious. I choose the statistic of being their only one educator they’ll ever have access to learn from, and decide on their own if they want to become comrades or strangers.
Life is really a story we choose to tell or disengage. Since I am a lover of stories, I share mines all the time🥰.
If it's not blatant, I am addressing everyone else but OP. OP needs a psychiatric help.
This comic reminds me of my 14 year old niece expressing annoyance because an elderly person asked her if she knew how to get to the highway.
Retelling the story she said "Why are they talking to me? Just Google it"
Classic liberal bad take. Target the segment of the population that might have an open mind rather than the segment of the population that needs their mind opened.
I'm with this comic on the last bit. If the person says "no it's OK, I can manage", then don't impose.
The first two bits are literally chastising curiosity. Are you against people being educated? Because education starts with the willingness to learn, and learning starts by asking questions.
I have no particular interesting definition about me, but that last panel... I know someone who is just like that. It's not that she's rude, she's just scatterbrained while she does ask politely she's moved on almost before the question is concluded, so she absolutely won't hear your answer and just assume that your loud protestations are in eager agreement to her offer.
It's true though, I don't mind. My chair even does tricks!
thanks for using Leebra!
go to feed...
Nah fuck this shit, if you have a question for me then ask it. You will never learn anything if you don't seek knowledge.
The last panel is fucked though, don't go putting your hands on people.
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