Depressed and angry.

6 months ago by Wendy (she/her) to c/mentalhealth

I am absolutely done. Try to post anything I need help on and I get downvoted just for asking a fucking question on Reddit. And people are so rude to people with different pronouns like, they/them but especially neopronouns or whatever they’re called, like fae/faer and xe/xem.

Mention my boyfriend is sapphic nonbinary masc? Someone says something absolutely fucking rude about non-binary people and how they hate Gen Z and how I need professional mental help and that they’re “not leftist enough” for xe/xem pronouns and therefore they can’t respect their pronouns.

Some of these people claim to be LGBTQ+ too. For shame. Furthermore, rather than ignore and it respect the person, they say rude shit about my being poly too and how it’s “not natural” and the same recycled homophobic rhetoric from YEARS ago.

I’m done. I’m done, fuck. And people are saying I’m a jerk and a bad person for wanting to leave my boyfriend, as if I should just let myself be sad. People don’t like me, and I’m done being nice. Pardon me, I’m off my meds and very ranty today, but MY GOD I’M PISSED FROM HAVING TO HOLD BACK MY TRUE FEELINGS!

DeathByBigSad 14 points 6 months ago

Careful, don't post on c/OffMyChest on Lemmy either...

People love to downvote you when you rant about someone/something too much...

(There was a Russian dissident that got downvoted for making rants against Russia.

And I got downvoted to hell for checks notes ranting about my parents... 🤷‍♂️)

Hey, try making songs, or writing poetry/lyrics...

My favorite thing to do is randomly sing about the cruelty of this world in English, and sometimes Mandarin-Chinese (idk why but its sometimes more emotional for me than English... although I probably need to learn more vocabulary for it to properly use it)

Do it solo so nobody is there to judge you

Or you can stand infront of a mirror so you always have "mirror universe you" to accompany you... so you aren't alone... cuz mirror-you is always by your side... 😉

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wendyz 5 points 6 months ago

TYSM :)

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vivalapivo 10 points 6 months ago

Girl, you're taking more than you can bite. Don't get me wrong, but polyamory is for mentally stable people.

You're just overwhelmed with everything. You'll handle everything eventually, but let's not pretend that the path you're walking is easy.

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queerlilhayseed 4 points 6 months ago

Being poly is for people who are poly.

Being in a committed relationship of any type is complex. Poly relationships have the potential for a higher ceiling of complexity simply by involving more people, but there is nothing intrinsically more difficult about being poly, and if that is where your heart calls you, I don't think you're doing yourself any favors by denying it. That doesn't mean you should jump into the first polycule you meet, for the same reasons I would counsel someone against immediately moving in with their first crush: relationship compatibility is complicated and takes a while to suss out. But finding partners who love you for exactly who you are, who support each other and respect each other and want the best for each other? That is worth seeking out, even if it's hard to find, for mono and poly folks alike.

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bufalo1973 3 points 6 months ago

I think he means that poly needs a mental stability higher than a mono relationship. Like juggling with more things is harder than throwing one thing up and grabbing it when it falls.

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queerlilhayseed 2 points 6 months ago

I think you have a correct read, which is why I decided to disagree. My point is that being in a relationship of any kind is complex and potentially difficult, especially starting a relationship, but that's a separate issue from being poly. I don't think it helps to put off "being poly" until some arbitrary threshold of mental stability, in the same way I don't think it helps to put off "being trans" until a more convenient time. It's not the kind of thing that can be put off, it just is, and coming to a more complete understanding of oneself is part of achieving mental stability. I also wanted to draw a distinction between "being poly" and "being in a committed multi-partner relationship": the former is just a thing you just are, the latter is a complicated endeavor the same way that being in a committed mono relationship is a complicated endeavor.

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vivalapivo 1 point 6 months ago

Being poly is for people who are poly

Is this ragebait?

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queerlilhayseed 2 points 6 months ago

No, it's a response to

polyamory is for mentally stable people

Polyamory isn't a privilege to be attained by mental discipline, nor is it a challenging hobby reserved for people with sufficient leisure time. it's simply a way some people are.

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vivalapivo 1 point 6 months ago

In other words, you disagree with a thesis that polyamory is more exhausting for participants? Have you ever been at poly support groups?

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wendyz 3 points 6 months ago

Understandable...

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AmourDeFrance 8 points 6 months ago

I'm here for you...

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Klarinette245 8 points 6 months ago

yeah, people suck.

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may_be 7 points 6 months ago

i'm so sorry you have to endure all this... :(

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Rentlar 3 points 6 months ago

Thanks for your vent. Let it out, then you can give yourself a chance to collect yourself. Also, fuck Reddit, and tell off even the Lemmy users that say you can't be you.

If someone's pronouns are too much for me to remember then I'll just say "Hey you". Easy as that. No need for bullshit excuses.

I'm not good at giving dating advice and I'm not LGBTQ+ so take it with a massive grain of salt, but anytime someone asks me about big questions or decisions in their life, I tend to say these three steps:

First, figure out what it really is you want. Short term, long term, career, dating life, whatever.

Second, think of how you can get or achieve that. You can then self-assess whether your wants are realistically attainable and how long or how much effort it may take.

Third, try to find who can help you get or achieve the things you want, or even help you discover what you want where you're unsure. This is where you can assess whether the people in your life, work etc. are helpful or a hinderance to your goals and needs. Having the right people to support you will make any accomplishment easier to attain.

Try to do it in a calm state, you don't have to suppress emotions but just be honest with yourself, so that you can get a better picture of where you want to go from here.

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bufalo1973 2 points 6 months ago

Do they pay your bills? Do they help you clean your house? Do they do something useful for you? Then why the fuck do you let them hurt you? You shouldn't give a fuck about all of them spitting their hate.

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Aetherial -5 points 6 months ago

I read these kinds of posts and feel immediately vindicated when I mention that most Americans are emotionally dysregulated.

Their comfort bubble pops and they go into hysterics lol

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Jake_Farm -15 points 6 months ago

No one is entitled to being in a romantic relationship with you.

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wendyz 6 points 6 months ago

What? I never said that, I was just asking if I should leave my boyfriend. What??

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Jake_Farm 0 points 6 months ago

Never said what? This is my answer to the question.

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GoldenLight2650 -25 points 6 months ago

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sad_detective_man 19 points 6 months ago

account age: 48 minutes

bro made an account just to tell a teenager to kill themself

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wendyz 15 points 6 months ago

Oh, fuck off

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Nurse_Robot 9 points 6 months ago

Yeah, I assume I'm not alone in reporting the fuck out of that person. Your response is perfectly succinct.

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jlouiseau 4 points 6 months ago

@Nurse_Robot @wendyz
Not alone. WTF.
I can't imagine how exhausting it must be to deal with so much reflexive hostility from terrible people.

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@lemmy.world

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@lemmy.world

login for more options

Welcome

This is a safe place to discuss, vent, support, and share information about mental health, illness, and wellness.

Thank you for being here. We appreciate who you are today. Please show respect and empathy when making or replying to posts.

If you need someone to talk to, @therapygary@lemmy.blahaj.zcan be reached on Signal at TherapyGary13.12.

Rules

The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

No promoting paid services/products.
Be kind and civil. No bigotry/prejudice either.
No victim blaming. Nor giving incredibly simplistic solutions (i.e. You have ADHD? Just focus easier.)
No encouraging suicide, no matter what. This includes telling someone to commit homicide as "dragging them down with you".
Suicide note posts will be removed, and you will be reached out to in private.
If you would like advice, mention the country you are in. (We will not assume the US as the default.)

If BRIEF mention of these topics is an important part of your post, please flag your post as NSFW and include a (trigger warning: suicide, self-harm, death, etc.)in the title so that other readers who may feel triggered can avoid it. Please also include a trigger warning on all comments mentioning these topics in a post that was not already tagged as such.

Partner Communities

To partner with our community and be included here, you are free to message the current moderators or comment on our pinned post.

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