Murca.

4 months ago by Maerman to c/onehundredninetysix

sbv 59 points 4 months ago

Clearly fake. Not enough donuts.

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Dr_Fetus_Jackson 49 points 4 months ago

As an American, I want to clear this up. The doughnuts were consumed while making breakfast.

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ChicoSuave 9 points 4 months ago

They don't last the drive home

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_stranger_ 34 points 4 months ago

What is this, a breakfast for ants? That Jesus is way too serious and the coffee needs to be at least 5 times bigger. I wasn't going to mention the lack of a shotgun, but the tiny ass knife pushed me over the edge.

Disgraceful.

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logi 18 points 4 months ago

Also, and worst of all, where is Jesus' gun?

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glizzyguzzler 24 points 4 months ago

Clearly disinfo, where’s the thicc pancakes??

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hakase 11 points 4 months ago

Japan. Japan has thick pancakes, Europe has thin pancakes, and the US has normal pancakes.

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glizzyguzzler 7 points 4 months ago

You can get the Murican pancakes about an inch thick if you keep the batter thicker (and/or let it sit for a few extra mins). That’s where it’s at

To get Japanese thicc pancakes you gotta work, that’s whipped egg white terroritory

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toynbee 5 points 4 months ago

I once made a cake sized pancake using a rice cooker and regular American pancake batter.

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glizzyguzzler 5 points 4 months ago

I must know more, any specifics you can remember?

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Master 7 points 4 months ago

fucking new englanders. They will replace anything with crabs or lobsters.

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TotallynotJessica 5 points 4 months ago

and the enormous serving sizes that hurt to finish?

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glizzyguzzler 3 points 4 months ago

😩😩😩

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ollie 19 points 4 months ago

calling for the public execution of OP, post doesn't have rule in the title

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testaccount789 12 points 4 months ago

That's too harsh, we only remove the dominant arm for 1st offense.

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ollie 6 points 4 months ago

my bad

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grue 6 points 4 months ago

It's not a rule.

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mech 2 points 4 months ago

It's more like a guideline.

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SkaveRat 4 points 4 months ago

Are you implying that 'murica doesn't rule?

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robocall 14 points 4 months ago

My American breakfast consist of donuts, waffles, pancakes, with a bowl of lucky charms.

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Smorty 4 points 4 months ago

i thought that was cops good, or am I wrong?

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CoffeeSoldier 2 points 4 months ago

I've always wondered about the sugar cereal part. Is there a spoon adapter for your gun that you use for that?

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swab148 3 points 4 months ago

The bayonet thingy, alternatively you can have a friend shoot spoon-shaped bullets into the bowl, which then rocket the milk and cereal straight into your mouth.

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robocall 2 points 4 months ago

I got a spoon holster on my belt separate from the firearm

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Juice 14 points 4 months ago

This gets better the more I look at it, the Jesus pancakes are peak

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SnotFlickerman 11 points 4 months ago

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Smorty 3 points 4 months ago

hes trynna eat this hand, no?

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Mordred_85 7 points 4 months ago

Fick yeah

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kamenlady 5 points 4 months ago

Fuck jawohl

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TotallynotJessica 7 points 4 months ago

In this country we only bring AMERICAN handguns to the breakfast table!

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bitteroldcoot 7 points 4 months ago

Who won’t want a giant plate of bacon for breakfast?

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NotSteve_ 7 points 4 months ago

I have eaten nearly an entire pack of bacon in one sitting before and I enjoyed it during the process, but I will never do that again because it felt like grease was endlessly dripping down my throat and I couldn't shake it for like an hour or two. There was also a lot of heart burn

The OP picture gives me PTSD flashbacks

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bitteroldcoot 7 points 4 months ago

You're supposed to put it on some paper towels and let the grease drip off. Not eat it straight out of the pan dripping in lard.

Now try it again and this time do it right.

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NotSteve_ 4 points 4 months ago

I did do that! But it wasn't enough for me 😥

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KairuByte 6 points 4 months ago

Is that Salvatore Ganacci?

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isVeryLoud 2 points 4 months ago

Looks like him lol

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fleurc 4 points 4 months ago

Looks like my first girlfriend's dad's breakfast

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Formfiller 4 points 4 months ago

I’d be happy to live like that if I could have lobster tails for breakfast

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kivihiili 4 points 4 months ago

a real conversation that happened over sms with a real actual friend we know:

(us) we love cooking and baking with others!!!!

Ooo me too even if I really only know how to make really good Mac and cheese lol

(us) we would enjoy doing that sometime
there are so much ways to cook it and they are all so good

Oohhh I know, i like making my Mac and cheese really creamy

(us) another one of our favorites is pierogi
its like running a little factory

One time we [friend with his family] put like three different types of meats (bacon, ham and I forgot the third one) into the mac and cheese and it's really good

[...]

To make mine really creamy I usually add double the milk and butter, and also add sour cream lol

(us) oh like box mac and cheese? or a recipe you have

I usually use box Mac and cheese as a base and add more cheese too ofc

(us) we just usually make our own from ingredients hehe
we prefer big macaroni

I could 100% make mine from scratch but that fake artificial cheese is strangely just too good

for reference box mac and cheese is basically a bunch of tiny TINY ant size macaroni covered in starch with a packet of cheese POWDER in a box. to make:

  1. boil the macaroni
  2. remove the water
  3. mix in cheese powder alongside milk and/or butter to specification
  4. serve

it is as bland as it sounds, if not more, even with added seasoning etc. the only purpose for why manufacturers require milk/butter instead of adding milk powder themselves and just requiring for water to be added is consumers would be too suspicious otherwise. literally domesticated war rations... he is thankfully open to learning to cook other stuff with us at least, hopefully we can fix him :3

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JusticeForPorygon 8 points 4 months ago

I will not take this box Mac n cheese slander. That neon orange cheese powder was my only source of happiness growing up. /s

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toynbee 4 points 4 months ago

My six year old will have your back in this battle.

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