I've been working out more consistently recently and I am quite proud of myself. It's too early to see any physical changes but I've already found I am quite stronger than I was a month ago or so.
This ties in to my last post (basically, dysphoria hit like a semi-truck yesterday), but all today I have had this strong urge to hurt myself because I perceive myself to be very feminine. I had the idea that instead of cutting, I could just lift weights until failure to also have pain, just a more productive and healthy form of SH basically.
Hurting myself isn't my main motivation for working out, obviously, but I find that it kills two birds on the really bad dysphoric days by helping build a more masc body AND acting as a way to hurt oneself.
I do not encourage self-harm whatsoever, I am just venting.