I should have transitioned years ago 😭

Not fucking telling anyone when i was 12

"oh, but it came out of the blue!"

Shut up, mother

its basically i regret not transitioning sooner, but my biggest regret is wasting so much time acting like an introvert. i spent so much time at home doing stuff basically to pass the time rather than going out and taking social risks. i could have been doing everything i dreamed of that whole time even if it was scary. maybe i would have found myself sooner if i did idk. but im not sure i would have been able to before i started transitioning.

I discovered my love of running way too late!

Just the one?

If I had to pick a single one, it would be walking alone at night through a city, when I was 19 and not streetwise.

Staying wayyy to long not in one but two toxic relationships. I guess low self-esteem and fear of being alone will do that to a gal.

I would also put "not transitioning earlier" but... ok I am not sure if this is a controversal/kinda woo-woo esoteric take but I honestly believe that if I had known earlier that I am trans, I would have died. Either because the region I grew up in being infested with Nazi scum would have gotten me or ... well myself for knowing, not being able to do anything about it for years and years and seeing me turn into this grotesque form that should have never been.
So yeah. I think my brain was protecting me from that. Unfortunately I plunged myself into that second toxic relationship, got married and then it was almost constant stress too, so apparently that didn't feel safe for my brain either. Even tho looking back I could have done it, I think... well, what are ten years huh? (a lot, it's a fucking lot and I am slightly salty)

I regret the man I chose to father my child. He left me to flounder during the baby years and I should've known from previous experience that he would do so. It almost killed me.

It's one of those situations that I try to give my past self grace for because my son is amazing and I didn't have the strength and knowledge then that I do now.

Not buying Bitcoin in 2010 when a friend first told me about it.

Bringing my kids into this horror show

Honestly… really…being born. You know that scene in Love through a prism where the world is gray for her at all times? Thats how I have experienced life for decades. Therapy doesn’t fix it, and medicine doesn’t abate it. Every once in a while I see or smell something that gives me a fleeting joy. But it’s just like…you know.

Ohhh. Several. I regret not feeling comfortable enough to ask for help outside of my household when I was young. I regret rushing through college as fast as I could. I had a deep fear of getting stuck in school and accumulating debt. So i got through it as quickly as i could. I now think i might have much better employment prospects if i were to take some more time and take some different courses. Either one of those could have been life changing. Better or worse. It’s hard to say

I cheated on my first long-term boyfriend and I wish I hadn't. I wish I had confidence in myself and what I knew I wanted, confidence that he was not the only one who would love me, the confidence that I wouldn't regret my decision. I missed out on a lot because I did what I thought everyone expected of me, what I was supposed to do. I wish I could impart this knowledge on young people because his mom tried to tell us, but young people think they're different.