It's a waste of time posting anything unless you feel you need external validation

6 days ago by BJW to c/unpopularopinion

People are just going to disagree with you, argue, insult you, and at the end, you've wasted your time for absolutely no gain to anyone. There's no benefit to posting anything on Lemmy, unless you need external validation - either confirming your perspective, or seeking praise from a third party.

Exceptions are when your profile is associated with some larger organization, scheme with an obscure goal, is an attempt to gather information, or the literal goal is to waste time, your own or others.

This means that every post not meeting those exceptions is an altruistic act that you should consider being grateful for. Someone expended time and effort for the purpose of entertaining you, a complete stranger, they'll likely never know and never meet. They wasted their own time so they could improve yours.

Thorry 22 points 6 days ago

I like to use Lemmy. In order for Lemmy to exist, people must post. Therefor I post and interact and in return I get a platform I like to use.

Even if you see everything as transactional, it still makes sense to post and engage with the platform.

I don't care what people think of the content I post, I try to post interesting and good stuff, but people are always going to disagree on stuff. I also shitpost and don't mind getting downvoted for shitposting.

path: 0 25290384, hotness: undefined, score: 22, children: 3

Cherry 11 points 6 days ago

Same. I want this place to thrive. Its a hard balance trying to not give info about yourself, but also to feel part of a discussion community.

path: 0 25290384 25290451, hotness: undefined, score: 11, children: 1

Epp 1 point 6 days ago

It's a tough tight rope to walk. It can be rewarding, though, as can anything challenging. Dopamine for the win!

path: 0 25290384 25290451 25290469, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

Epp 2 points 6 days ago

Sounds both self-serving and altruistic at the same time.

My AuDHD makes the criticism and personal jibes feel a steep price to pay for the fleeting kinship found in the rare occurrences of cordial conversation.

path: 0 25290384 25290487, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

roguetrick 13 points 6 days ago

Yeah you view social action as transactional, we get it.

path: 0 25290002, hotness: undefined, score: 13, children: 3

Epp 7 points 6 days ago

Thanks for contributing to my social experience. How much do I owe you?

path: 0 25290002 25290046, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 2

roguetrick 6 points 6 days ago

One funhole. Also I don't really know why people are downvoting your comment.

path: 0 25290002 25290046 25290361, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 1

Epp 4 points 6 days ago

A fair value. Deal!

My comment must be too popular.

path: 0 25290002 25290046 25290361 25290418, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0

neutronbumblebee 8 points 6 days ago

I think it's worth upvoting responses if they are well reasoned. Even if I personally don't agree with the conclusions or think the response misunderstands the evidence. It gives some insight into alternatives and clarifies my own ideas. Or it's all just a bit of fun which hopefully makes someones day a little better.

path: 0 25291597, hotness: undefined, score: 8, children: 1

Epp 1 point 6 days ago

The latter for sure. Everyone could use a better day.

path: 0 25291597 25297313, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

Malyca 7 points 5 days ago

I'd rather have civil discussion with disagreement, seems like that's much better here than somewhere like Reddit. I don't need validation, I need the truth.

path: 0 25299243, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 1

Blurntout 2 points 5 days ago

The majority of individuals lack the mental faculties to engage in critical thought. Truth

But we will still argue with you in the comments lol 😂 I have had to tap out of comment exchanges a few times

path: 0 25299243 25310145, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

elevenbones 7 points 6 days ago

Ha! And here you are, posting on lemmy.
Checkmate!
😎

path: 0 25298369, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 1

Epp 4 points 5 days ago

You win the Internet for today, good sir or madame. Please take your trophy from the dispenser, and return again tomorrow for yet another opportunity.

path: 0 25298369 25298889, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0

cRazi_man 6 points 6 days ago

I do like reading other people's comments. I hope people get something out of reading mine. But my position on posting remains unchanged for a while now:

My rule to live by (and this seems to trigger people online for some reason whenever I say it): never engage with comments online. I'll post a comment, but >99% of the time there is no reason to reply. I've made my point. There's hardly anything to gain from trying to change anyone else's mind or elaborating further. Someone has to make it abundantly clear that they are responding in good faith to warrant a response. My life has been much better since I started doing this and I would strongly recommend everyone try it out.

I find it even more absurd that people post about relationships problems (whether with a partner, friend or family member) and expect people to give any reasonable response when strangers have no idea of the context or lived experience and have one heavily skewed side of the story. That really is a place where people are just looking for validation. It has become a joke on Reddit and Lemmy how everything is such a "RED FLAG!!".

path: 0 25293504, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 1

Epp 0 points 6 days ago

Sage advice, in my humble opinion.

Agreed fully on the topic of relationship advice posting.

path: 0 25293504 25297297, hotness: undefined, score: 0, children: 0

webp 6 points 6 days ago

there is no point
exceptions are when there is a point

I guess

path: 0 25298024, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 1

Epp 3 points 5 days ago

See? You get it!

path: 0 25298024 25298840, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0

HubertManne 6 points 6 days ago

whats wrong with people disagreeing or aguing? Thats generally what I want but I would like it to be high quality. That is not so common. If its about something I like or hate I realize that im just basically starting a convo around an opinion of mine. I did one the other day on the masters of the universe movie because it gave me uncanny valley wierd ai vibes.

path: 0 25298499, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 2

Epp 2 points 5 days ago

Nothing, until they're disagreeing or arguing over the validity of human rights, inherent freedoms and baseline morality. That happens a lot online, where the shield of anonymity allows people to make whatever abhorrent argument they like without shame.

It happens far less often here on Lemmy than just about anywhere else on the Internet, but I imagine it's only a matter of time. The march of enshittification is as inevitable as it is endless! Or so it seems to this jaded, old being.

path: 0 25298499 25299096, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 1

HubertManne 2 points 5 days ago

block em pure and simple. someone saying something ludicrous, cruel, and downright evil. make the experience you want.

path: 0 25298499 25299096 25302318, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

minty 5 points 6 days ago

I do like external validation although I welcome being challenged aswell. I do also like discussion and empathising with people.

That is to say I am a social creature that evolved to be social, and although lemmy isnt socialising its pretty close (at least to my creature brain).

path: 0 25290398, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 3

Epp 6 points 6 days ago

Yeah, I can agree with all that.

I guess I'm just quickly soured by the resident jerks in any community. Making me largely anti-social, but I still make the effort every once in a while just to see what happens. It feels like throwing a rock at a wasp's nest before closing the screen door. Stupid but thrilling.

path: 0 25290398 25290454, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 2

cb900f_bodhi 2 points 6 days ago

I feel that. Personally, I've decided most times it is best not to read comments responding to anything I post. And if I have questions, I'll just research it myself rather than ask in the comments here. I see all social media as inherently toxic, and while Lemmy is less toxic than most, people still seem to enjoy shitting on others online whenever they can. And you never know if the jerk really is some high school douche or a Russian bot with an agenda or an intelligent adult with poor communication skills or a violently prideful idiot.

It helps to avoid all sensitive and important posts. There are no jerks in superbowl for example.

path: 0 25290398 25290454 25293761, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

minty 1 point 6 days ago

Yeah I can see why you would be jaded about it

path: 0 25290398 25290454 25292889, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

xylogx 3 points 6 days ago

Why did you post this?

path: 0 25296556, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 4

Epp 4 points 6 days ago

To waste my time in an effort to improve that of random strangers as I was feeling gregarious.

path: 0 25296556 25297216, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 3

elevenbones 3 points 6 days ago

To waste my time in an effort to improve that of random strangers as I was feeling gregarious. external validation 😉

path: 0 25296556 25297216 25298398, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 2

Epp 5 points 5 days ago

Exactly. My existence has once again been validated - I do indeed exist.

path: 0 25296556 25297216 25298398 25298797, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 1

xylogx 1 point 5 days ago

Interesting. I post stuff because I like getting upvotes. I enjoy the feeling that, in some small way, another person found my contribution valuable.

I refuse to engage with trolls and negs. I do not involve myself in petty arguments. I try to post something I feel will be valuable, useful or appreciated. I try to keep things positive.

I feel like overall it is a good deal. At least here on Lemmy. I contribute to the community and in exchange I feel a little better about myself. If at some point that stops being true I will leave as I have left Facebook and Reddit.

path: 0 25296556 25297216 25298398 25298797 25301505, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

owl 3 points 6 days ago

But when I post a question and get an answer I learn something. That's good, no?

path: 0 25297818, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 3

Epp 1 point 5 days ago

Have you really learned anything? Or do you think you have? There's no Earthly way of knowing.

path: 0 25297818 25298876, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 2

owl 4 points 5 days ago

I learned, that you are a negative Nancy, that wants everyone to just ask questions to chatbots.

path: 0 25297818 25298876 25299068, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 1

Epp 1 point 5 days ago

Nice! That's as useful as learning that two plus two is nine.

path: 0 25297818 25298876 25299068 25299102, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

Blurntout 2 points 5 days ago

You had me in the first paragraph then you flipped me in the third lol thank you for your time.

path: 0 25310312, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 1

Epp 2 points 4 days ago

🥂

path: 0 25310312 25316307, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

socsa 2 points 5 days ago

Main character ass post

path: 0 25310170, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 1

Epp 1 point 4 days ago

Are you just learning that my ass is the main character now? I feel so bad for you!

path: 0 25310170 25316305, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

blockityblock 2 points 6 days ago

I like the vibe of the message, no clue what is is the opinion here though.

path: 0 25292088, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

bibbasa 1 point 6 days ago

i think fedi has similar pitfalls to social media, namely the parasocial thing. just look at the design of lemmy and piefed, the title and text content is maximized and the poster's name and profile, and the community itself is minimized. on web forums the user's identity is much more prominent with a large avatar, long signatures on every post, and often times badges, awards, and titles displayed under their name.

path: 0 25297474, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 1

Epp 3 points 5 days ago

Oh, yeah, in the end the root cause is the same. People; what a bunch of bastards.

path: 0 25297474 25299207, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0

HobbitFoot 1 point 3 days ago

Do you feel externally validated right now?

path: 0 25341784, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 1

Epp 1 point 3 days ago

Not at this particular moment, no. I assume it has a delayed, intermittent effect.

path: 0 25341784 25344078, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

blackbelt352 1 point 6 days ago

Depends on the platform. On Facebook I spend most of my time as visible pushback on shitty ideas and bigotry. On YouTube I recognize its mostly screaming into the void. Here on lemmy I get good and interesting discussions and also get to have visible pushback on bigotry.

path: 0 25291574, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 4

Epp 2 points 6 days ago

Oh, wow, you have the patience for the bigotry of Facebook? That was the first platform where I lost all faith in humanity. Posting there in an attempt to combat maliced views felt like emptying the ocean with a leaky bucket.

That is my favorite aspect of Lemmy, too. I wish there were more places like it in the world.

path: 0 25291574 25297407, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 3

blackbelt352 1 point 6 days ago

I still use Facebook for a handful of more niche RPG fandoms, mainly centered on the World of Darkness game lines, its the only place I could find a moderately active community. But most of the time when I'm confronting the bigotry, its me just recommending people take paul's advice in Galatians 5:12, which is basically Paul saying "yall assholes are quibbling over who is and isn't Christian because of circumcision, instead of being good people, so just finish the job and make yourselves eunuchs."

path: 0 25291574 25297407 25298170, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 2

Epp 2 points 5 days ago

Oh, I saw a World of Darkness total conversion mod for a game I play just yesterday. I hadn't considered it was so obscure that one would need to willingly traverse the cess pit that is Facebook in order to converse with fans. I hope that one day they have a thriving community in a permanent, respectable home.

That sounds as effective as it is fun to type out repeatedly. I don't think becoming a eunuch would actually have that effect on a person, though, otherwise all women would be good people by default and that sadly is not the case. Unless there's a womanly version of being a eunuch? 🤔

path: 0 25291574 25297407 25298170 25299174, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 1

blackbelt352 1 point 5 days ago

Oh I also have no expectations that the decision to castrate would make them better people. I just enjoy telling religious bigots that the bible recommends they castrate themselves for using scripture and jewish law as a weapon against others.

As for WoD, its definitely a fairly large ttrpg fandom but the ampersand is so overwhelmingly massive that even the second largest ttrpg system out there is just a blip on the radar in comparison.

path: 0 25291574 25297407 25298170 25299174 25300117, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

pmjv 1 point 3 days ago

i will never create content again

path: 0 25337140, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 2

Epp 2 points 3 days ago

Probably for the best. AI is much better at it than us pesky humans.

path: 0 25337140 25344089, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 1

pmjv 1 point 3 days ago

Thank you for your support.

path: 0 25337140 25344089 25345753, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

lasta 1 point 6 days ago

That’s a cynical way of looking at it. Plenty of posts here aim to inform, educate, share something the poster created or found interesting, discover new perspectives, or have nuanced discussions.

It’s a natural part of communication to want feedback or engagement with something you share. There are always going to be mixed reactions, with the strongest ones getting the most attention. If you are sensitive to criticism, the negative responses can damper what is overall a positive experience. I would not stay on a platform where I consider the overall experience a negative one.

path: 0 25294248, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 1

Epp 0 points 6 days ago

It is cynical, yes, but I think it's also accurate. Those who post to inform, educate and share are acting altruistically and are the ones I specifically mentioned deserve gratitude.

Lemmy is literally the only platform I'm on, if you don't count email, and I debate deleting it on a weekly basis. Although it remains positive, overall, so I'm still here.

path: 0 25294248 25297367, hotness: undefined, score: 0, children: 0

unpopularopinion

unpopularopinion

@lemmy.world

login for more options

Welcome to the Unpopular Opinion community!

How voting works:

Vote the opposite of the norm.

If you agree that the opinion is unpopular give it an arrow up. If it's something that's widely accepted, give it an arrow down.

Guidelines:

Tag your post, if possible (not required)

If your post is a "General" unpopular opinion, start the subject with [GENERAL].
If it is a Lemmy-specific unpopular opinion, start it with [LEMMY].

Rules:

1. NO POLITICS

Politics is everywhere. Let's make this about [general] and [lemmy] - specific topics, and keep politics out of it.

2. Be civil.

Disagreements happen, but that doesn’t provide the right to personally attack others. No racism/sexism/bigotry. Please also refrain from gatekeeping others' opinions.

3. No bots, spam or self-promotion.

Only approved bots, which follow the guidelines for bots set by the instance, are allowed.

4. Shitposts and memes are allowed but...

Only until they prove to be a problem. They can and will be removed at moderator discretion.

5. No trolling.

This shouldn't need an explanation. If your post or comment is made just to get a rise with no real value, it will be removed. You do this too often, you will get a vacation to touch grass, away from this community for 1 or more days. Repeat offenses will result in a perma-ban.

6. Defend your opinion

This is a bit of a mix of rules 4 and 5 to help foster higher quality posts. You are expected to defend your unpopular opinion in the post body. We don't expect a whole manifesto (please, no manifestos), but you should at least provide some details as to why you hold the position you do.

Instance-wide rules always apply. https://legal.lemmy.world/tos/

go to feed...

unpopularopinion

unpopularopinion

@lemmy.world

login for more options

Welcome to the Unpopular Opinion community!

How voting works:

Vote the opposite of the norm.

If you agree that the opinion is unpopular give it an arrow up. If it's something that's widely accepted, give it an arrow down.

Guidelines:

Tag your post, if possible (not required)

If your post is a "General" unpopular opinion, start the subject with [GENERAL].
If it is a Lemmy-specific unpopular opinion, start it with [LEMMY].

Rules:

1. NO POLITICS

Politics is everywhere. Let's make this about [general] and [lemmy] - specific topics, and keep politics out of it.

2. Be civil.

Disagreements happen, but that doesn’t provide the right to personally attack others. No racism/sexism/bigotry. Please also refrain from gatekeeping others' opinions.

3. No bots, spam or self-promotion.

Only approved bots, which follow the guidelines for bots set by the instance, are allowed.

4. Shitposts and memes are allowed but...

Only until they prove to be a problem. They can and will be removed at moderator discretion.

5. No trolling.

This shouldn't need an explanation. If your post or comment is made just to get a rise with no real value, it will be removed. You do this too often, you will get a vacation to touch grass, away from this community for 1 or more days. Repeat offenses will result in a perma-ban.

6. Defend your opinion

This is a bit of a mix of rules 4 and 5 to help foster higher quality posts. You are expected to defend your unpopular opinion in the post body. We don't expect a whole manifesto (please, no manifestos), but you should at least provide some details as to why you hold the position you do.

Instance-wide rules always apply. https://legal.lemmy.world/tos/

go to feed...