It sounds like you could move out and are choosing not to. That's fantastic.

The thing you need to remember about people wanting to move out is that a lot of people have absolutely awful parents. Millions of parents are demeaning, controlling, arbitrary, and cruel. A lot of parents want the kids out of the house and view the kids being there as a burden. It is an absolute blessing to have parents who you genuinely want to be around and who genuinely want to be around you. A lot of people do not have that.

As I said I am 33. I still live at home. I get along very well with my parents, and being here helps them out tremendously when it comes to taking care of my mentally handicapped brother. I work, pay for everything I have (including car, phone, insurance, etc,) and help out with projects around the house.

Speaking from a Western Europe standpoint: you sound like a very mature person to me. Do not let others judge you for your life choices, as that would only ruin your happiness. You be you.

I just want to share this. I have worked and supported a wife for a quarter century. I have done the taxes. I have dealt with retirement and such. I feel like im an adult child. I feel my wife is one to. I feel everyone is. Because in reality we take on all these adult responsibilities but we are all still the child we used to be. People change a lot but much of it is in some way superficial. This is why you see all the memes about how adulting sux. None of us wants to live at home or with a relative or on the dole or with a kindly stranger who gives us a break on rent. we want to be able to contribute and share in other peoples contributions as they share in ours. We want to be helped when we can't otherwise be helping a lot and help when others can't. Our society just does not function the way it should. To many people get it in their heads that they are somehow deserving of 1K times others or 1mil or 1bil times. its a sickness not in those ordinary folks like us but in the greed of those who are lucky or cruel.

Say it with me! “Intergenerational housing is anti capitalist.”

I feel somewhat similar, turned 30 recently, and have really only been learning proper independence for the last like 5 years. I think a big part of this was being undiagnosed AuDHD and honestly floundering to regulate that for a long time. I’ve got a very positive relationship with my parents/family so it was sort of this realization that I hadn’t really ever done things without some sort of assistance even though I was very capable. For a bit I felt shame because of this, but I’ve come round to thinking that I’m just lucky to have a support network that happens to be my birth family. I also have chosen family I live with and we all care for each other in this way too!

Having to not live with your parents is a US cultural BS, in many places of the world is normal.

I have a friend very much like you, he’s in his late twenties and has worked off and on but mostly just does gig work online these days. He is definitely on the spectrum but he has a circle of friends who he plays D&D with and other nerdy fun stuff. I feel like that’s how he keeps his balance, having friends who don’t judge him for living with his (much older, his mom had him in her late 40s) parents. He helps take care of them and pulls his own weight in the household.

Besides, these days it’s nearly impossible to live on one’s own without a six figure salary, there’s no shame in your living situation at all. Be thankful you have a family that loves you and you can get along with, that alone is something to be proud of.

In short, you aren’t doing anything wrong from what you’ve said about your life, but if you feel the need to change something you should explore it.

Naaaaa dude/dudette, you sound golden to this random dummie. Life is shit as is, and you sound like you have some grounding. Don't let anyone else, ignorant, jealous, or condescending, ruin that. You don't have to win the rat race to "success" to have a happy life, so fuck the haters. It's going to be rough for all of us, and I will always commend the people already self-aware.

I am 42, I own my house, and I still have to ask my parents for help sometimes. This economy (if you're also in the US) is shit, and that affects all of us.

Living at home is nothing to be ashamed of. If you feel like it's holding you back or preventing you from doing anything you want to do, that might be something to think about. Otherwise, if you're content, who fucking cares? I'd be more concerned with how much your family appreciates you for pitching in to take care of your brother than I would be about some rando's opinion about your living arrangement.

I understand that there's a stigma around it, but a lot of that is pro-capitalist, pro-overconsumption propaganda that people have internalized and they're criticizing people who haven't bought into it.

I'm beginning to realize that for us neurodivergent people, our ability to look at what everyone else is doing and say "No, thanks. I'm not doing that." is a significant advantage for us.

"I don't want much in life. I don't want a lot of money. I tend to reject the hustle and bustle." Sounds like you've already got that figured out. Approach other people's opinions of you with that same energy.

I have a coworker who choose to live with his parents to help them as they get older and save on rent and I don't think any less of him. A lot of poeple could never live with thier parents as adults for many reasons, so they may be reacting to their idea of living with family.

I am over 40, and I still feel like I am winging it. As long as I can pretend to be an adult at work, and I can pay my bills, I don't care. It's coloring books and video games for me!

Adult child is just a way to convey you have kids but they aren't 10. Like if I tell people my child gave me something they assume my kid might be a Teen but they are 32.

As far as living at home don't be ashamed, in this economy more and more people are choosing to help the parents with a mortgage and have affordable housing at home.

I can empathise. I felt like I had to be the breadwinner, do all the adult things, but after a really bad burnout, I feel like I'm a four year old trying to take care of another four year old with no parents.

If you have stability, then feel good for it if you can.

Do keep in mind, that the stereotype of "an adult going off on their own" is just one phase of our culture. There were other phases in the course of humanity where leaving home isn't normal, and sharing families in households was normal.

Society is changing, and will always change. What is "normal" now won't be later on. The Americana life of 2.5 children with a dog and a house isn't the norm. Even other cultures can be different.

Don't berate yourself for peer pressure or other values that are imposed on you. THOSE aren't normal.

I know people who are 45 and have never had a job and just been taken care of by their parents their whole lives. If their parents were gone, they would not survive. Because they are a child who can't take care of themselves.

The cause and effect are backwards in most of the scenarios you provided though. Living with your parents doesn't mean you can't take care of yourself, but not being able to take care of yourself means you need to live with your parents. So yes, when you see an adult child, they almost 100% of the time live with their parents, but that doesn't mean all people living with their parents are adult children. To me, "child" reflects your ability to take care of yourself, not where you live.

You have a job and pay for things yourself. That's not a child. There may be other complications in your situation, and I'm not going to say everything is perfect, but it sounds like "incapable child" isn't specifically one of the problems.

There’s the added fact that I do like video games, and watching youtube a lot on things I like. The image of an adult at home engaging in these things looks really bad to some people.

I'm in my 40s. My wife is in her 40s. We have a kid. We're paying off a mortgage on a house. Last night, I played Mina the Hollower on my laptop and my wife watched youtube videos. Don't feel bad about that stuff. They're generational interests, not a symbol of immaturity. Nursing homes are gonna have gameboys and true crime hour in the lunch room in a few decades.

Muy cousins, aunts, and uncles are all well-to-do. They own businesses. Multiple properties. Huge cirlces of friends. Maybe not all of them, but there is a lot of money in my extended family. And then theres me. I won’t be anything most people would consider special. I’m just here until I’m not here.

And you only see what's happening on the outside. I can mostly pass in the real world. I don't live with my parents because home life was awful growing up. It's a long story, but I started college early so I could get away from it. I had a nervous breakdown my senior year. I joined the workforce before I could drink and had no social skills. It was hell.

Everything I am now came from those years, and from doing everything every wrong way first. I'm finally starting to untangle the massive amount of trauma my parents inflicted on me, and the massive amount of trauma I inflicted on myself to get away from them. I'm autistic, I have ADHD, and I spent decades feeling like a weirdo and a moron. I've got a decent life now and a therapist, but in hindsight I wish I'd done things differently.

So the next time someone makes you feel bad about your life, think about this: I did everything I was supposed to do and life was unbearable. You've got stable housing, you're contributing to the family, and you have hobbies.

I don’t want much in life. I don’t want a lot of money. I tend to reject the hustle and bustle. I just want to know I was the best person I could be with what I had available.

At the end of the day, that's all anyone can be. You sound like a good person and you sound like you have a good life. Don't let other people tell you otherwise.

Never be ashamed for being part of a great family unit. You have grown up with the empathy and thoughtfulness to look after your sibling, and support your parents. You feel loved, its not a bad thing. As a parent knowing you feel comfy to hang around i would be pretty pleased. Don't set your goals and standards by others, let your heart set them. If others judge, that's their hang up not yours. If you feel you are missing out on something then maybe explore just what that is.

There are plenty of of adults your age that wish they didn't have so much responsibility. Good luck you sound like you have figured what works for you and have some peace, that's called winning at life.

Socially there is the potential for some lack of social skill development. But on the other hand, Autistic people generally don't have the same social skill building or the same social norms as neurotupical people so what you are experiencing may just be that on top of societal pressures.

All that being said, no one is the same. If (when societal pressure is removed) you are okay with your place in life and how you're living it, that should be enough of a reason to not worry about it (I know that anxiety can play a role in whether or not you actually can "not worry").

I would say you're doing the best you can, but if there is something you personally want to get better at (social communication etc) then I think there's no reason not to work on that.

I'm high masking. People generally only find me off putting after prolonged exposure to me where they start to see my mask slip. I have a hard time being articulate mostly at times where there's a high stress high emotional environment. I lived at home with my parents til my mid twenties when I joined the military. I have a younger brother with more severe and debilitating autism and he needs constant care. But my parents are divorced now and neither of them is in a situation where if I went back I could do much to help. All that to say I'm not exactly in the same boat but I don't think you're doing anything wrong.